10 Concrete Signs You’re Over Your Relationship

Getting over a breakup and moving on from a relationship can be an enduring process. It can take weeks or months or even years. So how do you know when you’re completely over your ex and you have moved on from the relationship? Here are some concrete signs that you’re over it:

Lack of emotional attachment.

When you first get into a relationship, there’s (hopefully) a deep connection and intense emotions. There’s compassion, respect, patience, desire, and intrigue. When you get over a relationship, though, you don’t feel any of that. You are emotionally detached, no longer feeling everything you once felt towards them. They’re just a plain old person to you.

No interest in their life.

Being in a relationship means that both partners (should) take an interest in each other’s lives outside of one another. You should, at the very least, be respectful and knowledgeable about your partner’s career, family life, hobbies, etc.

A good sign that you’ve moved on from this relationship is that you aren’t invested in their life anymore. You’re disinterested in what they’re doing or who they’re with. You’re no longer curious about them.

No desire for physical intimacy.

In some cases of a breakup, there can be some desire or physical attachment to them still lingering. Sleeping with an ex even though you broke up two weeks ago? That happens.

However, when you’re over a relationship, the desire for physical intimacy diminishes. You don’t feel any sexual attraction to them. You don’t crave physical closeness with them. You feel nothing.

Emotional stability.

This is the part of the breakup process that can take a long, long time to get through. Being broken up with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re over the relationship emotionally. Maybe you’re still hurt by the fact that they cheated on you, lied to you, or simply didn’t treat you the way you deserved to be treated.

When you’re over the relationship, you have a sense of emotional stability. In other words, you don’t think about the ways they’ve hurt you. You don’t let the negative feelings you have towards them harbor in you. You’re no longer affected by thoughts of them. You feel at peace.

No jealousy or resentment.

It’s completely normal to hate your ex. Whether or not you get over that (valid) hatred is completely up to you. When the two of you are fresh in the break up — or even months afterward — you might harbor some resentment or jealousy. If they get into a new relationship, you are deeply affected by that.

However, when you’ve really moved on and gotten over the relationship, you no longer feel that toward them. You don’t hate them, you don’t resent them, you don’t wish ill-will on them. You just feel indifferent toward them.

Increased self-focus.

“I’m going to focus on me for a bit.”

“Self-love is the best love.”

“Who needs them? I have me.”

All of those are cliche responses to a breakup — but they do ring true. When ending a relationship, the best thing you can do for yourself is to love yourself and focus on yourself. When you’ve moved on, you might notice that you prioritize self-care, personal growth, and individual goals. You might even put dating on the back burner while you focus on your own well-being and future aspirations.

No urge to reconcile.

If you’re truly over a relationship, you won’t feel any desire to get back with an ex. You won’t have the urge to reconcile or “seek closure.” You’ve accepted the relationship for what it is — over. You are ready to move forward.

A positive outlook on the future.

It’s easy to dwell on the past just as it’s easy to expect the worst for the future. This is especially so when you were hurt by an ex and expect the next person you date to do the same.

When you’ve moved on, you don’t go on dates with low expectations and you don’t compare new people to your ex. When you’ve moved on, you will begin to develop a positive outlook on your life without this person and will have hope — and maybe even excitement — about the new possibilities life can bring you.

Increased social interactions.

Moping around the house and crying in your bed for days at a time is a very normal thing to do after a breakup. In fact, it’s more than okay to do those things.

When you’re over a relationship, you’re up and out of bed. You’re not moping around the house anymore. You’re more open to socializing, meeting new people, and going on dates. You feel comfortable doing so and again, you’re not comparing them to your ex.

Closure and acceptance.

Going through a breakup isn’t easy. You don’t have to be happy the relationship ended or happy with the feelings you felt, but you should be grateful for that ending and grateful for the peace you are now feeling.

Sometimes you have to find “closure” your own way and move on without your ex giving you whatever answers or affirmations you think you need. You’ve reached the point where you’ve accepted what happened and you’ve accepted the relationship for what it is. You’ve processed your emotions, learned from the experience, and are ready to embark on a new chapter of your life.