10 Important Life Lessons From ‘Sex Life’ Season 2
I think there’s a Billie Connelly in every woman—a person full of painful and beautiful experiences that make you ask the question: Can I have it all?
Well, I think you can, but first, you have to want it. Second, you have to believe you deserve it. And both of those aren’t as simple as they sound to accomplish, especially when you look at the historical power dynamics in heterosexual relationships. Netflix’s Sex Life shares a lot of powerful messages over the latest season with lessons that every person can apply to their own lives. Here are 10 of the most important takeaways:
1. When you settle, you’re engineering more pain in the long run.
Settling within any aspect of your life may not impact you today, tomorrow, or even the day after that. But someday it will, and you’ll have only prolonged having to deal with your reality. It’s easy to talk ourselves into something we feel is the safer route, but that will never lead you toward fulfillment. Billie settled for Cooper and did everything she could to make it work, but it was never meant to. She lost herself by settling but came through on the other side no one but herself. So, please remember that you deserve the job that brings you purpose. You deserve to put energy into things that reciprocate a positive force field back. You are worthy of relationships that make you feel connected to people and, most importantly, your core self.
2. Being alone doesn’t make you strong.
Anyone that’s ever tried to create the perception that they’re better off alone is speaking through fear and deflection. Sasha does this all season long, but ultimately, she learns the hard way that sometimes the strongest thing you can do is go after exactly what you want, on your terms.
3. When you get past your ego, you increase your odds of finding a sustainable connection.
If social media has taught us anything, it is that anyone who publicly portrays self-obsession is likely motivated by personal insecurity and therefore driven by the perceived validation of others. But when you get past your ego, as both Sasha and Kam did eventually, you can find a sustainable connection with another person. Your ego keeps you focused on a surface-level perception that prioritizes others’ opinions rather than your truth. So, when your ego is in charge, it can distance you further from yourself.
4. Historically, relationships have upheld sexist expectations, so today, it’s everyone’s responsibility to change that.
Heterosexual women have typically adapted to the life of whichever man they committed to. That’s changed a lot today for some, but not for others. So remember that an authentic, sustainable partnership is founded on equality. And it’s not up to women to march towards gender equality alone, it’s up to all of us to move towards it together.
5. The more you ignore your inner voice, the louder it gets.
The more Billie ignored her intuition, the more she saw Brad in her thoughts, so much so that it started to mesh with her reality. When you’re trying to distract yourself from how you feel, that energy has to go somewhere. And the more force you put into pushing it down, the higher the impact when it bounces back up.
6. Independence doesn’t mean isolation.
We’ve been told the fallacy that women have a price to pay for independence. But that isn’t the case with a partner that understands this and values women as their equal. A woman can lead with independence while still leaning on others for support, love, and connection. You become a stronger person the moment you realize you don’t have to do everything alone and that sharing your life with others is what makes life worth living.
7. Go after the things you want every chance you get.
If you want something, you honor your intuition by pursuing it. Brad knew he wanted Billie, so he pushed himself further into Gigi to distract himself from going after what he wanted. So ask yourself if you would rather wonder what if, or know that you exercised every opportunity to follow your passion, no matter the outcome. One of those options is driven by fear while the other is motivated by courage. It’s not that there is an absence of fear in either scenario, it’s that in one, fear is in control, and in the other, you’re in control.
8. Human connection is everything; it’s what makes us feel most alive.
What I love most about Sex Life is that on the surface it may seem like a show that’s all about sex, and sure that’s a big part of it, but it certainly isn’t the foundation. If you go a layer deeper, it’s rooted in the connection between human beings and the fact that sex is an avenue that empowers this vital human connection. Intimacy with another human being leaves a person naked, open, and vulnerable. And it is only through that shared vulnerability that we are able to connect with others and to ourselves on a higher level.
9. Families don’t have to fit into a construct.
You’ve heard the dirty word, baggage, and there’s no reason for it. People love people, and then people change. And sometimes that love changes. People have children and families, and at times those families evolve because we evolve. Billie and Brad have kids with other people, but in the end, they don’t let that prevent them from being with each other and starting a family of their own. It doesn’t matter what your family looks like, it matters how it feels because families are love.
10. You might not be able to have it all, but you should be the one to find out if you can.
Season 2 might have wrapped the lives of Billie, Brad, Cooper, and Sasha into a tiny little bow of perfect happiness, but the reality is that real life isn’t always that neat. That’s not to say you can’t have all the things you want in life, but you don’t know the outcome of anything you don’t pursue. Maybe you can have it all, and maybe you can’t, but you’re the only one that can find out.