Anastasia Shuraeva

What is the Bare Minimum in a Relationship? 

No effort.

Someone who doesn’t do anything immediately breakup worthy, like cheating or abuse, but also doesn’t go out of their way to do anything good or kind for their partner.

A good example would be a partner who doesn’t do anything particularly wrong, but never plans fun dates or texts their SO just to say hi and that they love them or gets them small presents like flowers or whatever.


They’re not emotionally invested.

Someone who is not emotionally invested in the relationship. Someone who is physically present but emotionally checked out.

They contribute to the household finances. They do their share of the household duties. No more, no less.

They’re not up for conversation and would rather “do their own thing,” rather than spend any free time with you.


3. Essentially, the bare minimum is one step above nothing.

‘Bare minimum’ is one step above ‘nothing.’ They have to show for something to lure someone in. They put in minimum investment in the relationship and to their partner, while expecting you to do everything for them. They are only looking to use your good intentions to get the maximum benefits out of you. They will even stop putting in effort into their own life so you’d be expected to pick up their slack, always complaining that they can’t be a functional adult while shutting you up with their superior ‘logic.’ They will attempt to make you try to ‘fix’ them.


4. No effort.

Only making an effort to keep you around, but not the effort to equal your input. Never grows, no matter how long you’ve been together. Their needs are the only ones that are discussed and validated.


5. They act like a roommate, not a partner.

A roommate who expects sex.


6. They like you, but not enough.

Bare minimum is someone who likes you, vaguely listen to you speak sometimes, goes on date if you plan them but don’t put effort into plan them or into making you feel special in any way.

They might say I love you when prompted, but don’t say it on their own and don’t express love in any meaningful way. They’re happy to spend time with you but let you initiate. They can cover some chores but aren’t super proactive about it and don’t try to do half the things.

They don’t abuse you, don’t cheat on you, are generally not bad people, are in the relationship and not threatening to break up


7. They don’t engage in any romance.

They stop dating you. No effort in romance.


8. When they make you feel dramatic when you ask for more from them.

When you gaslight yourself into thinking you shouldn’t bring it up in fear of being called dramatic.


9. They don’t cheat.

The kind that thinks as long as I’m not cheating I’m good


10. Respect.

Respect and then you can build from that. Respect is the bare minimum.


11. They give “just enough” effort to keep you around.

Putting in “just enough” effort.


12. They don’t make you feel bad for wanting affection.

At the bare minimum? Communication and not make me feel bad for wanting to interact when at home together.


13. They invite you over to do nothing. And that’s it.

‘Come over and sit on my couch’ every single night. Not really making an effort to do fun things out side of the house. Like, even going for a walk would be nice.