Emma Bauso

15 People On The Randomly Absurd Marriage Advice That Actually Helped

Here are 15 people on the absurd and random marriage advice that actually helped their own.

1. Always choose to be kind.

Dad said, ‘Be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe especially if you’re not feeling it.


2. Find little ways to bond.

My grandfather told me, “‘Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.’ What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking.


3. Stay focused on resolution when conflict arises.

Focus on tackling the problem, not each other.


4. Don’t try and change your partner. It doesn’t work.

As Rita Rudner said about changing your SO, ‘That pie’s baked. If you want a different flavor, get a different pie.’


5. Have lower expectations.

Don’t have too high of expectations. My dad told us that, but we found most of our early fights were when one or the other had unspoken expectations of the other or marriage. It is positively life changing to be married, and an amazing experience, but still life goes on.


6. Forget potential.

Marry him for who he is. Not his potential.


7. Know what you want (and go for it).

Grandma said, ‘Love is like coffee. Sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it’s cold, sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it’s bitter. No matter how you like it, it is good. But it’s only great when you get it the way you like it. Make sure you get what you want.


8. Say thank you often.

Say thank you for day to day things, even taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. Audibly hearing thank you reinforces the feeling of being appreciated.


9. The “annoying” quirks are the good stuff.

My stepmom just passed away, and dad said something that has profoundly changed my attitude:

‘The little things that annoyed me are the things I now miss.’


10. Act like every time you’re with them is the last time.

Always act like it’s the last time you’ll see them. Cause it might be. My mother passed last year at 45 from her second bout with cancer. Middle of the night, my dad said he’s glad he stayed up later to spend a few more minutes with her. To tell her he loved her. You never know when you’ll never see them again.

Also pride doesn’t belong in your marriage, if you have any self pride leave it at the door both you and your partner serve each other and support each other, each putting the other first and accept that they are giving it their all even if their all isn’t what it was last month.


11. You marry their family, too.

You don’t just marry her, you marry her whole damn family.


12. Take space for yourself.

This is one I developed myself about 10 years ago.

Don’t forget to breathe.

Your relationship was founded on your individuality. If you are not taking time to be yourselves as individuals, you are not maintaining yourselves and eroding the foundation of you relationship and your life. There is a reason most employers provide vacation. Time to get away from the grindstone, reset, recharge, and breathe. Same thing for your relationships. When you are together, you are a couple. When you are with the kids, you are parents. At work, you are working. There is a reason things like guy’s/girl’s night, man caves, and craft rooms exist. To take time apart, build individually, and appreciate your time together more. This is true of all relationships, romantic, parental, vocational, and personal.

If you’re not breathing, you’re not doing much.


13. Looks aren’t everything.

Looks fade, marry someone who you enjoy talking to. -grandma

I also feel strongly about this one.

Find someone who is ok with you both having separate hobbies. My wife does her thing and I have my hobby. We share some hobbies, but we are ok with spending time apart too. We don’t have to always do them together. I couldn’t imagine marrying a woman who needed to do every single thing I did just to be around me. She needs to have her own life and I love not forcing her into the nerdy stuff I enjoy.


14. Get the right size bedding.

Get blankets that are bigger than your bed size. Queen size bed? Get King sized comforter. No more fighting for cover while sleeping.


15. Sex isn’t the only way to be intimate.

Intimacy isn’t about sex.