December 8, 2021

18 Tweets Showing Horror Fans Stephen King Is As Wholesome As He Is Scary

We’d Watch It

If I had a cooking program on TV, I could call it Crepe Show.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) July 20, 2021

Gotta Poke Fun At Yourself Sometimes

He Who Walks Between the Rows. pic.twitter.com/NGyJjLA8Wu
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) August 27, 2021

Just visiting with a friend from Derry, Maine. pic.twitter.com/VIiyqCXDkK
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) August 29, 2015

Do The Crime, Do The Time

Molly, aka the Thing of Evil, endures yet another stretch in Doggy Shawshank for bad behavior. I tell her "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." Does no good. pic.twitter.com/m1p0hSWbuj
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) May 5, 2021

Paws This Is A Hold-Up

Molly, aka the Thing of Evil, has taken a paws-on selfie for all her Twitter fans, and forced me to post it. Or else. pic.twitter.com/e9IF1S70uJ
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) October 2, 2015

Let The Man Groove

If this doesn't get you up and shaking your ass on a Friday afternoon, you're dead.https://t.co/nhHaGpmXIV
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) August 28, 2015

Imagine This Review From Stephen King Himself

Loved CHAPPIE. It's like a children's story written by an extremely talented psychopath.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) June 6, 2015

Work Hard Fluff Harder

Molly demonstrates the Thing of Evil Workout, also known as the Who Gives a Shit About Muscle Tone Workout. pic.twitter.com/r0jk2Cf865
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) May 3, 2015

This Might Be A Little Corny

New Hampshire eye clinic is announcing itself as The Children of the Cornea.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) September 27, 2021

Careless Whisper Anybody?

When you hear the saxophone in a film noir, you know sex is about to happen (but tastefully offscreen).
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) April 17, 2021

Not So Evil Anymore

Molly, aka the Thing of Evil, has finally met her match. pic.twitter.com/SBugLqNiwJ
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 25, 2021

Needs More Sharks

I could use another SHARKNADO movie.
i’m thinking SHARKNADO: THE VATICAN
Or, continuing the religious subtext: SHARKNADO EXORCISM.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) August 14, 2021

Here Puppy Puppy

I took Molly, aka the Thing of Evil, to an advance screening of PET SEMATARY. She didn't come back the same. pic.twitter.com/l2dFgeuvBT
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) March 29, 2019

Bloody Brilliant

LAW AND ORDER: VAMPIRE SQUAD! "Where the stakes are higher!"
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 23, 2018

Enough Said

pic.twitter.com/ezWawcjuCU
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) July 30, 2021

That Used Car Smell

When considering the purchase of a so-called "pre-owned car," you might, as you slip behind the wheel, ask yourself how many strangers have farted into the seat cushions beneath you.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) December 21, 2019

NASA, Your Call

NASA is holding a contest to name the next rover. May I suggest Boaty McSpaceface?
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) March 5, 2020

Zoo Life, Meet Subway

I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said BREAD IN CAPTIVITY.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) February 4, 2020