Take your health, both physical and mental, seriously. These facets are far more intertwined than you would ever imagine. Go on more walks. Find workouts you enjoy. Stop comparing yourself to Instagram fitness influencers, it’s not inspiring to you, it only hurts your body image. Be realistic with your goals. Tell your therapist the truth. The whole truth. Listen to your body. Notice your self-talk, and adjust as necessary. TAKE YOUR MEDICATION!!!!
Things can change. And trust that they will. This is life’s only constant. Learn to ride its waves with grace and watch your inner peace bloom.
You will lose friends. Andyou will not die. You will move on. You will realize that it wasn’t them, it wasn’t you; it was a matter of fit. It’s okay!
It’s just a guy!!!!! He does not define you. Just because he didn’t want you doesn’t mean someone else won’t. Sure, you’re still going to be single AF at 28, but that isn’t a bad thing. It just is. Use this time to nurture your own growth.
You can tell a lot about a person by who they choose to surround themselves with. Pay careful attention.
Having said that, choose your own company carefully. You are the curator of your own surroundings. We aren’t in kindergarten anymore, not everyone wants to be your friend, nor do you want to be everyone’s friend. That’s part of life. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be cordial or kind anyway (you absolutely should) but you don’t have to bend over backward for relationships that do not serve you.
You still have a lot of growing up to do. Like, a ton. Start taking responsibility for your own life. Your actions. Your feelings. Your career. Your goals. Yourself.
But you also know more than you think. Trust your intuition, that gut feeling you always tend to ignore. There’s a reason it exists. Listen.
Learn to match others’ energies. It will save you a lot of grief and heartache. If someone is distant, there is a reason. Respect that and back off. Stop fighting for the love of those who simply do not love you back.
Your job does not define your worth. You’re a writer, so it’s understandable so much of your self-worth is based on views, on sales, on people’s opinions of what you put on paper. So much of yourself tends to find its way into your work after all. But you are more than a writer. It’s a part of you. But it isn’t all of you.
Make a five-year plan. It will give you a better sense of direction. It will give your life more meaning. It’s okay to want things, to plan, to work toward a future that would make you healthier, happier, and more well-rounded.
Work on your self-respect. As Joan Didion wisely said: “Character — the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life — is the source from which self-respect springs.”
You are the manager of your own emotions. Think of your feelings, which I know can be totally overwhelming, as subordinates in an office. You manage them; they don’t manage you, no matter how much of an unruly dick they’re being.
Stop putting yourself into boxes. You contain multitudes. Cherish them all. Honor them all. Nurture them all.
Learn to see the gray. That’s where the truth happens. This is what clarity is made of. Look for the gray.
Read more. I know you read so much for your job, but you need to actively seek out pieces and books that speak to you. It will not only make you a better writer but a better human.
No one is coming to save you. Yes, things are difficult because you’re mentally ill and in your twenties and everything sucks. But it’s up to you to pull yourself up. And you can. And will.
Better things are coming. It’s not always going to hurt as badly as it does right now. Look to the horizon, learn from the pain, and keep moving forward.
You’re going to find your people. That feeling you have always had, the one that you don’t belong? It will fade. You will find your people. Cherish and love them. Deeply. Believe that they love you, too, because they do.
Stop drinking cold brew at 2 PM. The most important of all. KNOCK IT OFF.
