Darya Sannikova

3 Concrete Signs You Need To Break Up Right Now

Thereโ€™s a presence of any kind of verbal or emotional abuse.ย 

If theyโ€™re calling you names, dishing out covert put-downs, withdrawing affection to punish you, making you feel deflated during happy moments, hypercriticizing you, gaslighting you, lashing out at you when envious, or stonewalling you during important conversations โ€“ itโ€™s time to break up (and create a safety plan for doing so in more volatile situations to protect yourself). Do you think your true partner in this life would ever go out of their way to make you feel small? A true partner would nourish and support you. They would be your safe haven โ€“ not a danger zone.ย 

Theyโ€™re disrespecting you on social media and in real life.

Social media isnโ€™t just social media. Itโ€™s a highly public platform. It can amplify your joy and exacerbate your stress. Itโ€™s also one of the first signs of someoneโ€™s true motives: a narcissistic partner, for example, uses social media to evoke jealousy in their partners. They provoke jealousy on purpose for power and control according to research. If your partner is disrespecting you on social media, they are disrespecting you period. You are not insecure or โ€œcrazy,โ€ you are intuitive, discerning, and recognize the red flags. There are higher quality men out there who wonโ€™t be busy sliding into the DMs of other people or following suspicious accounts, or posting suspicious stories that seem to reference your relationship in a way that invades privacy. Ask yourself: why would a healthy partner ever need to seek validation from numerous prospects? They wouldnโ€™t. Someoneโ€™s wandering eye doesnโ€™t just stop at social media โ€“ it can escalate into greater betrayals. If theyโ€™re willing to pursue cheap attention online, thereโ€™s nothing stopping them from doing it offline. Cut your losses and realize itโ€™s only going to get worse from here.ย 

They show a lack of empathy.ย 

If theyโ€™re kicking you down when youโ€™re already vulnerable, youโ€™re dating a sadist, not a healthy partner. If theyโ€™re cruel and callous when youโ€™re facing trauma, stress, or medical emergencies, they are actively making your stress worse. If theyโ€™re not celebrating with you when youโ€™re achieving big things, theyโ€™ll detract from your success and everything you were meant to be. This is not the behavior of someone who has the capacity to love you or anyone else in a healthy way.ย 

Click here to learn more about the diversion tactics of narcissists and psychopaths. To learn more about how narcissists turn love languages into hate languages: click here.