Jonathan Borba

3 Concrete Signs You’re Not In Love, You’re In a Toxic Soul Contract

There is a long-held spiritual belief that before our souls incarnated in our physical bodies, we created and “signed” powerful soul contracts designed to help map out our destinies and soul’s life lessons on this earth. Others believe we have free will and can break soul contracts if necessary to pursue a more enlightened and fulfilling path. No matter what you believe, it’s important to distinguish between what is possibly a true love connection and what could be a toxic soul contract that you need to break to keep yourself safe. Here are the signs to look out for. 

1.  Real love will provide a safe holding space for you – a safe haven to return to in times of distress and lift you up even more in times of celebration. A toxic soul contract may feel fated (your souls will appear to recognize each other instantly even in different physical bodies), but it will keep you away from your true destiny. In a toxic soul contract with a “karmic soulmate,” you will be thrown into a tumultuous power struggle and imbalance with someone who refuses to see your value. You will battle insecurities you never had manufactured in you by the toxic partner, feel diminished, compared to others, and challenged to survive rather than thrive. You will spend more time agonizing over the toxicity of your relationship than staying connected to and pursuing your soul’s true purpose. In a truly loving relationship, you will feel encouraged to pursue your dreams and your partner’s faith and investment in you will cause you to expand rather than shrink or dim your light. 

Some people may hold the spiritual belief that this experience is due to trying to address energetic ties and unfinished business you had with this person throughout past lives, but it’s important to realize that if you are in any kind of emotional or physical danger, you do not need to resolve such toxic connections and may find it more empowering to walk away in this current “soul contract” or relationship. In fact, the ability to set healthy boundaries, stand up for yourself, and pursue the good you truly deserve can be one of the most powerful soul lessons you can learn.

2. You will feel encouraged to speak your truth in a loving relationship filled with mutual trust and respect. In a toxic relationship or soul contract, you will often be punished, shamed, and ridiculed for having differing perspectives or expressing your emotions. This can be a powerful life lesson as it tests you to hold on more strongly to your boundaries, but it is also not a healthy relationship if you feel silenced and admonished when you share your soul’s truth. Real love will allow you to assert yourself in a healthy way without fearing abandonment.

3. A toxic relationship with a partner that runs hot and cold will be filled with euphoric highs but also intense lows that deplete and exhaust you. A toxic soul contract is more about trauma bonding rather than fostering a healthy connection. Love will nourish you more than it takes from you. Love will add more balance to your life, encouraging you to take the path of self-love and self-respect. You will value yourself even more in a loving relationship because it will remind you of all your gifts in this world, your divinity, and your inner strength and beauty. If you suspect you’re in a toxic relationship or any kind of toxic “soul contract,” understand that you have the free will to break away and pursue a different path – one that recognizes your worth, and does not detract from it.