We’ve seen lists that talk about what turns a man off in past articles. Now let’s talk about women. The dating world can be rough and women have been speaking out more than ever about the enormous amount of toxicity they’ve encountered in the current dating pool. Across TikTok and Facebook groups in every city, women are sharing their stories and their turn-offs with more ferocity and collective discontent than we have ever seen. No longer is there as much silence, minimization, rationalization, or pick-me habits because women are now listening to each other’s stories and realizing what they’re encountering in the dating world is universal, not exclusive to them.
They’re finding validation that they weren’t the cause of some shady person’s alarmingly horrific behavior. We’re seeing more articles about women choosing to be single rather than with a toxic person. The hookup culture era, especially post-pandemic as women realized how exploited they were, is essentially over. The dark feminine is rising. If you’re ready to better understand what women really want and need, or you just need a reminder that your standards are not high, they’re literally just the bare minimum, here are three automatic turn-offs for women, even if they find you extremely attractive.
No chivalry or romance.
In a dating culture filled with instant gratification, very few woman deep down actually want to go out on a coffee date (unless they’re trying to get meeting you done with as quickly as possible and are already strategizing their exit). And women out there worried about being “high-maintenance,” take heed: coffee dates are often a low-effort and cheap option for a man who’s dating multiple women and still expects you in his bed. You’re risking your life every time you meet a stranger. You don’t live in an equal world yet. If you’re using the excuse of, “Well I can get out quickly if I don’t like them” or “What if they expect sex on a dinner date?” remember the following:
If you’re using a dating app, you can vet someone by chatting with them to make it more likely you won’t need to make such a speedy exit before the date – why waste your time on a coffee date when someone could show you they value you and your time by taking you out on a real date? Men will expect sex whether they take you out for coffee or on a private jet to Paris. If that’s what they’re going to expect, it’ll be deeply embedded in their sense of entitlement and character regardless. You might as well be romanced if they’re going to waste your time. A man who doesn’t have more of a generous mentality in a world where you already face enough hardships is not going to have one when you get married or give birth either.
Shady stuff on social media.
Women are finally expressing the absolute “ick” they feel when they witness their dating partners be absolute hounds on social media, liking and following shady accounts for all to see. From their aunt Carol to their high school best friend, everyone can see you following those accounts, Chad. Women will not see you as true relationship material if you give off “I am available for the whole community” energy.
Expecting emotional and domestic labor.
At the beginning of any dating romance, women want to be courted. They face enough adversity in the world already. They don’t want to be a free therapist on top of all the other labor and struggles they encounter on the daily. Stop talking about your ex, expecting a dating partner to build you up, and draining a woman’s energy and resources. The world is literally already rigged in your favor – so she doesn’t owe you what you think she does. Stop demanding or expecting she cook and clean for you, “serve” you sexually or ask her what she brings to the table as a potential wife before you’ve even gone on the third date.
Research shows that marriage generally extends a man’s livelihood and happiness – not a woman’s. So she’s actually benefiting you if she decides to commit to you. You should be adding value to her life especially if she’s adding value to yours. Women generally go out of their way to please their spouses despite the fact that the world isn’t equal yet. Be a safe place for the women that you date and be the example of being a high-quality man she needs and deserves.