Brandon Woelfel

4 Phrases Every Bare Minimum Man Uses (And What They Really Mean)

Here are four phrases every bare minimum man uses (and what they really mean).

1. What he says: “Let’s just go with the flow.”

What he really means: “I want the benefits of a relationship like sex, intimacy, and support without any actual boundaries, commitment, or effort.”

By refusing to give any semblance of a direction of where you two could be headed, or what he wants, he absolves himself of any responsibility in the present. A bare minimum man uses this phrase when he likes you (but just not enough to actually date you seriously).

2. What he says: “I’m not ready to commit but I like where we’re at!”

What he really means: “I like where we are at and never plan to move beyond casual because this no-strings-attached arrangement is working for me.”

And why would he commit, anyway? He’s getting his cake and eating it too.

3. What he says: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

What he really means: “I am refusing to take any accountability in making you feel badly.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology. And he knows it. This is just another way for the bare minimum man to dodge responsibility for not treating you as he should.

4. What he says: “Let’s hang soon.”

What he really means: “And by “soon,” I mean, “Whenever is convenient for me when you ask. And whenever that is, I will refuse to call it a date even though we will act like it is one.”

He then will never take the actual initiative to “hang out.” Instead, he expects you to make all the effort by choosing a time, date, and place. And even when you do reach out to “hang,” it will still be on his terms (i.e. if he “feels like it”).

Also, by calling it “hanging out” versus “going on a date,” he avoids further culpability for making you think he could commit one day. After all, you were “just chilling,” right? That’s on you for thinking this could be anything romantic, despite the fact you two had sex.


You deserve more than the bare minimum. Stop settling.