Healing is a journey that lasts a lifetime.
Even though you want to wake up in the morning completely healed, that isn’t the way pain works. You are going to have good days and bad days. You are going to feel amazing one week and then come undone the next. This is the natural progress of things. Don’t get mad at yourself because you thought you were over your past by now. Don’t feel like a failure because it’s taking you so long to heal. Some wounds are going to last a lifetime. When they reopen, you need to be gentle with yourself. Don’t treat yourself like the enemy. Give yourself the kindness you should have gotten a long time ago.
What others put you through isn’t your fault, especially when you were a child.
It’s important to take responsibility when you make a mistake. But it’s also important to recognize when you weren’t the one who messed up. Or maybe you did mess up, but that didn’t give someone else the right to hurt you as badly as they did. As a living being, you inherently have value. You deserve to be treated with respect. The bad things that happened to you were not okay. Just because you’ve grown numb to them doesn’t mean they should be seen as normal. Remember, the horrible things that happened to you were not your fault. They never should have happened. You deserve better, and although you can’t change your past, you can remember your worth as you step toward a brighter future. Never let anyone treat you like that again.
Some people are never going to understand.
There are people out there who will get you. They might have been through a similar experience, or maybe they have enough knowledge and empathy to see where you’re coming from. These people will be your rocks as you walk through life. However, there are other people who are never going to understand why you behave in certain ways, no matter how many times you explain it to them. The stories you tell aren’t enough to make them comprehend the weight of what happened to you. You know better than anyone because you lived it. So don’t let their ignorant opinions about how you should and should not feel impact you. Don’t listen to a word they say.
What you went through changed you, but it did not taint you.
Your existence means something. You have as much value as anyone else walking through this world. Don’t doubt your importance for even a second because you are a beautiful human being. Even though you might have baggage and unresolved trauma, you are not broken. You are not unlovable. You are going to create a wonderful life for yourself, despite what you’ve been through. Your past might continue to impact you to this day, but that doesn’t mean your future is in trouble. You can achieve beautiful things. You can rediscover the happiness that others have stolen from you.