Love is a small word with huge implications. When it’s a healthy kind of love, it can help you become your best possible self and enrich your life with a new kind of happiness and meaning. When it’s unhealthy, or just not the right match, it can literally gut you and leave you broken and devastated.
Love can be a tricky thing because a man might say it without feeling it, or he can feel it for a long time before he’s ready to say it. Typically when a man loves you, it’s obvious. You don’t even have to ask because you just know it. The reason it can sometimes seem confusing is that men and women often experience love in different ways. A lot of us are also carrying around a certain amount of emotional baggage, which can spill over into a new relationship if left unchecked.
To save you the time and energy spent playing the he loves me…he loves me not game, here are the five greatest telltale signs that he definitely is in love with you.
1. He treats you like a priority.
When a man loves you, spending time with you and being there for you are at the top of his priority list. It doesn’t matter how busy he is, he will make the time for you. He will make sure you know that you’re special to him, that he cares about you, that your happiness matters, and that being with you, and there for you, are important to him.
If you find that you have to fight for his time and attention, that there is always something higher on his priority list, and that all you get are leftover scraps when it comes to his attention … he most likely is not in love with you. When a man loves you, you don’t need to strategize ways of getting into his heart…it’s just there, right on the line.
2. He shows you through his actions.
As the saying goes… actions speak louder than words. And this is especially true when it comes to knowing if a man loves you. Words are easy, and talk is cheap.
Love isn’t merely a feeling, it’s a verb, and it comes across through actions. When a man truly loves you, he shows it. He goes out of his way to make you happy because your happiness is more important than his own, he is there for you even if it’s inconvenient for him, he sacrifices for you, and he puts effort into the relationship.
3. He doesn’t give up.
He is committed to making it work. He doesn’t threaten to leave at the first sign of trouble, he is in it and he plans to see it through, even when it gets really tough. He is fully invested; he wants to do whatever it takes to make the relationship strong and amazing.
When you love someone, quitting isn’t an option until all other options have been exhausted. You don’t just leave unless things are clearly beyond repair. If a man isn’t willing, or able, to go all in, then you never really had him in the first place.
And It’s easy to be a great and loving partner when it’s all sunshine and roses, but how does he react when things get real? How does he react when conflicts arise, as they inevitably do, does he shut you out and retreat and blame you for causing problems? Is he your adversary, or does he work with you to overcome the issue?
The sign of a good, loving relationship isn’t how a couple behaves when everything is perfect… it’s how they engage when times are tough.
4. He knows you better than you know yourself.
When we love someone, we can’t get enough. We want to know everything, to fully immerse ourselves in their story. When a guy loves you, he can see you more clearly than you see yourself. He sees your potential, your strengths, your weaknesses, and how you experience and process the world.
He doesn’t simply love the way you make him feel—this selfish sort of love has become commonplace these days but it isn’t real. He loves who you are, and sure, he may feel good being with you, but that isn’t the only reason he wants to be with you.
5. You don’t question how he feels.
When a guy loves you, you know it. It feels like peace, it feels like home, it feels safe. You don’t wonder and worry about how he feels. You don’t spend each day in the relationship like it could be your last … wondering when the proverbial other shoe will drop. You feel a calmness in knowing.
Now at the same time, some people are carrying a lot of hurt and pain and may have deeply rooted trust issues that make it impossible to ever feel secure. If this is the case, then work on it! Do whatever it takes to break through the walls surrounding you so that you can let someone else in.
This is why it’s so important to be your best self before you enter into a relationship, to clear away the clutter and really see what’s in front of you.