When you’re dating a man who’s still not over his ex, you’re likely to feel like you’re competing with a ghost. No matter how much you love him or how much he claims to love you, you’re never going to feel secure in the relationship. You don’t need to put up with this emotional turmoil. You don’t need a solid reason or a huge argument to justify your feelings. If you’re not being cherished as you should be, either communicate your feelings and ask for a change or consider walking away. You’re not asking for too much; you’re asking for what you deserve – a love that is wholly yours.
The first red flag that he’s not over his ex is if he’s always bringing her up in conversations. Now, I’m not talking about a casual mention here and there. No, it’s when her name starts popping up in every little chat, every little memory, every insignificant event. It’s as if he’s stuck in a time warp where she’s still a central character. This constant reminiscing isn’t a sign of him being a great storyteller; it’s an indication that he’s living in the past, and that past includes her.
The second undeniable sign he’s not over his ex is if he’s still in frequent contact with her. Granted, staying friends with an ex isn’t always a no-go. If they’re constantly texting, calling, meeting up, and he’s prioritizing these interactions over you, then you might just be dealing with a man who’s emotionally entangled with his ex. You deserve someone who’s present and invested in building a future with you, not someone living in yesterday.
The third indication of his lingering feelings is if he compares you to her, subtly or blatantly. You’re not her. You’re you, unique and special in your own way. If he often points out how she used to do things or hints at you behaving more like her, it’s a clear sign he’s not entirely over her. You shouldn’t have to mold yourself into someone else’s image to be appreciated. You’re more than enough just as you are.
The fourth sign screams he’s not over his ex if he’s still holding onto her belongings. Does he still keep her photos around? Or perhaps there’s a box of her stuff he refuses to get rid of? If he’s holding onto these physical reminders, chances are he’s also holding onto the emotional connection. You should be with someone who has space in their life for you, not someone who’s life is filled with traces of a former lover.
The last glaring sign he’s not over his ex is if he’s reluctant to commit to you fully. If he’s always dodging discussions about the future or making long-term plans, it’s possible he’s not ready to move forward because he’s still stuck in his past. You deserve a man who’s excited about building a future with you, not someone who’s unsure or apprehensive.