5 Concrete Signs They’re Not Taking You Seriously (And Likely Never Will)

When someone shows you who they are, believe in them the first time. Often when we’re dating, we find excuses for the behaviors of our partners or we try to control how the relationship will unfold by tugging on more. But at the end of the day, if they see you as their forever person, you wouldn’t have to question how they treat you because their actions will match what you’re truly seeking. Once you’re in a place of not being a first priority, it’s rare that this person will come around and drastically change their behavior towards you. Here are five signs of just that:

1. Lack of communication

They rarely initiate conversations, ask about your day, or are never fully present when you’re around them. They may seem disinterested or dismissive when you try to discuss important topics or express your feelings. They also are never the ones to bring up any issues — it’s always you who initiates those critical conversations for relationship development.

2. Inconsistent effort

They don’t consistently put effort into the relationship. This could manifest as canceling plans frequently, not setting up dates in advance, not following through on promises, not being there for you when you need them, or showing little interest in spending quality time together. Some days they’re all-in, but only if it’s convenient for them. 

3. Keeping things casual

They avoid defining the relationship or expressing any desire for commitment. They may give mixed signals (like acting as if they’re in a relationship with you) while simultaneously avoiding a discussion about the future or communicating that they’re seeing other people. These indicate that they are not looking for something serious or that they don’t see you as someone they want to fully commit to.

4. Lack of emotional availability

They don’t open up emotionally, leaving you to always wonder what they’re truly feeling. They hardly show genuine care and concern for your well-being, or if they do, it feels like the bare minimum. They also avoid discussing deeper emotions or personal topics, thus never showing you who they really are. They often prioritize their own needs and desires over yours, and those deep, meaningful, and vulnerable conversations never seem to happen, leaving you in the dark about their feelings towards you.

5. Limited integration into their life

They keep you at a distance from their social circle, family, or personal life. They don’t bring you around their friends or involve you in significant aspects of their life, which both suggest that they see the relationship as temporary or unimportant in the long run. Sometimes things are kept secretive, which shows they’re not excited to show you off to the most important people in their life. 

Ultimately, these signs are not definitive proof of how your relationship will evolve over time. It’s important to have open and honest conversations with your partner to understand where they stand, what their perspective is, and what their true intentions are with you. Trust your instincts and evaluate from time to time whether the relationship aligns with your own needs and expectations and whether you feel like you’re receiving what you’re putting out. And if you intuitively feel like the way this person treats you will never change, then choose yourself first and move forwards. The right person will take you seriously!