5 Concrete Signs You Don’t Miss Your Ex (You Just Miss The Companionship)

It’s easy and very natural to confuse feelings of missing an ex or missing connection and companionship. You long for something beautiful and real, which is probably why you don’t miss them, but rather, you miss the idea of them. Remember: your ex is an ex for a reason.

Here are some signs that suggest you may be missing companionship rather than your ex:

You’re nostalgic…but not for them.

It’s okay to be nostalgic every once in a while. It’s okay to look back on and miss certain memories. When you start reminiscing on the good (or bad) times, think about your ex from a more outside perspective. Ask yourself, Do I miss them or do I just miss the memories we shared?

You’re open to new connections.

You’re feeling more open and excited about the possibility of meeting new people and having new, romantic experiences. You’re going on more dates. You’re no longer sitting in your resentful, sad little breakup bubble and no longer fixated on rekindling the past.

Or, maybe, you might not even want a romantic thing. You just want companionship from someone — anyone. You crave the presence of friends or family. No matter what or who — you’re excited and hopeful about new connections.

You’re reflecting on the past objectively.

Certain relationships can cause us to make excuses for bad behavior and ignore the red flags. When we’re in it, we don’t see that we’re seeing things through rose-colored glasses. When you think about your past relationship, you aren’t romanticizing it anymore. You’re aware of why it ended, why it was a bad match. You acknowledge the mistakes, excuses, and red flags. And while you’re open to new, romantic connections, you’re becoming more aware of what you do and don’t want.

There’s a lack of emotional attachment.

In some relationships, it can be hard to distinguish the difference between love and attachment. This is especially true if there was already an emotional disconnect in the relationship. But if you’ve recognized the fact that you don’t long for them anymore, it might be because you don’t have any sort of emotional attachment to them.

You’re focusing on personal growth.

A common response to a breakup is “I’m gonna focus on me now.” While that’s great and all, some people don’t really follow through with that. But if your main focus is actually personal development and self-improvement rather than trying to fill the void with a relationship, then you most likely are over your ex and don’t really miss them. You might also start to become more content with being alone. You’re finding peace in solitude and fulfillment in activities that don’t involve a partner. You’re focusing on you and only you.