Too much of anything can stress you out — even something good, like quality time with your person. Sometimes, you’re going to need some space from them. That doesn’t mean you want to break up or even go on a break. It simply means you need some time to hang out alone, or with your closest friends, without your person hovering over your shoulder. Here are some concrete signs you need some space from your partner:
You’ve been spending every waking moment together.
You don’t want someone else to become your entire world. Even if you’re happiest when they’re around, it’s unhealthy to do absolutely everything together. You should keep your individuality, even when you’re in a committed relationship. You don’t want to feel like your identity is tied to this other person because even though they mean the world to you, you can exist without them. You can have fun without them. You can thrive without them. It’s dangerous to forget that.
You’re starting to get annoyed over the little things they do, things you know deep down aren’t a big deal.
When you spend too much time with someone, everything they do can get on your nerves. If there aren’t any bigger problems in the relationship, this isn’t a sign that you need to break up. It’s more likely a sign that you need space. Give yourselves the chance to miss each other, even if it’s only for a few hours or days. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, so it’s no wonder that they’re starting to get on your nerves when you’re always attached at the hip.
You feel like you’re always doing what they want to do.
Or maybe you’re coming to compromises that feel fair, but you still aren’t getting what you most selfishly want. Although it’s great that you’re able to meet them halfway, you deserve what you want too. If you never end up watching the movies you want to watch or eating at the restaurants you want to try, then go out on your own for a change. Take yourself on a date. Or split up for the day and hang out with your friends while they hang out with theirs. Even if your social circles overlap, that doesn’t mean you need to be together 24/7.
You feel like you’ve lost track of what you even want.
If you’re having trouble pinpointing what you even want because you’re used to thinking about what the two of you, together, want as a team, you probably need some space. Although it’s healthy to take your person’s thoughts and feelings into consideration, you don’t want their thoughts to become your thoughts. You don’t want to mindlessly agree with everything they say because it’s easiest. You have your own brain. You have your own heart. You aren’t actually the same person, even if it feels like you’re an extension of each other at times.
You’ve been secretly craving distance from them.
You’re not a horrible partner for wanting your privacy. You’re not heartless for needing some time to yourself. Stop pretending that you’re perfectly fine with your routines tied so closely together when that’s not the case. Your relationship will have more potential if you’re honest with each other, if you admit how you’re really feeling. If you never confess that you need space, you’re only going to grow to resent them and end up pushing them away permanently. So it’s better to be honest now, while you can fix the issue.