Leah Kelley

5 Reasons Why INFJs And INTJs Make The Best Friends

INFJs love INTJs. INTJs are soulmates for INFJs, not necessarily in the traditional romantic sense (although it can be that, too) but in terms of connection. While everyone is different and a personality type doesn’t mean you’re more or less likely to get along with a person, INFJs tend to float to INTJs like bees to honey.

As a fellow INFJ, I’ve met only a few INTJs—they’re the third-rarest personality type, and INFJs are the rarest—but the ones I’ve met I’ve taken an instant liking to. INTJs have that rare mix of someone who has a lot in common with INFJs but just enough difference that we both work together. I’ve been attracted to the INTJ personality even before I met INTJs—and, after meeting them, it cemented my love of the type. Wonder why INFJs love INTJs much? Here are just a few reasons:

1. They’re both intuitive.

The deepest, most philosophical, and overall insightful conversations I’ve had have always been with INTJs. Our Introverted Intuition function is the primary function we use when we operate in the world, which means we spend a lot of time in our heads thinking about things. Introverted Intuition lends its way to creativity and a rich inner world, something that Extraverted Sensors may have a harder time understanding. They’re just as willing to bounce ideas off of me as I am to bounce ideas off of them, and this connection was one of the first signs of me realizing how cool I thought the INTJ was.

2. INFJs admire INTJs Thinking function.

INFJ’s secondary function is Extraverted Feeling, and INTJ’s is Extraverted Thinking. While feelers and thinkers may be more prone to misunderstanding one another—a feeler may find a thinker too blunt and conclude they’re rude, and a thinker may find a feeler takes everything personally and is unable to hold a conversation with them—well-developed feeling and thinking functions in both INFJs and INTJs combat this. INFJs admire INTJs’ ability to analyze, think critically, and ask the hard questions. They both enjoy deep discussions about their rich inner lives and what goes on in their brains, which makes the challenging questions INTJs ask INFJs very insightful questions. It helps INFJs think about how they feel and believe, and it helps them grow because of it.

3. INTJs admire INFJ’s Feeling function.

On the other side, INFJs’ Extraverted Feeling function provides insight into emotional empathy that INTJs find insightful. I’ve had an INTJ tell me that they admire how empathetic I am, how passionate I am, and how caring I am, and it’s extremely validating to hear that from a thinker. INTJs with well-developed thinking functions, just like INFJs with well-developed feeling functions, understand the benefits of leaning into feeling whenever necessary. It doesn’t change who INTJs are, but it offers them a new perspective they appreciate, and INFJs appreciate that they appreciate that!

4. They both need and respect solitude.

As introverts, INTJs relate to INFJs’ need for solitude and alone time. They can extravert as well as the INFJ can, but at the end of the day, INTJs get their energy from being with themselves and sitting with their thoughts. Because of this, they’re less likely to ask an INFJ to come out to a social event with a lot of external stimuli, something that would bother them both as introverts with lower sensor functions. INTJs are content to just have conversations with INFJs one-on-one, they don’t have to talk to INFJs every day to get to know them and maintain a friendship, and they find solitary activities—reading, crafting, listening to podcasts and music, etc—as stimulating as socializing at a bar. Extraverting takes energy, so when INFJs don’t have to use that energy because INTJs don’t feel like using that energy, everyone’s a happy introvert.

5. They complement one another.

The INTJ shares the INFJ’s affinity for deep conversations and respect for solitude, yet their differences in thinking and feeling functions make for challenging yet emotionally and intellectually stimulating conversations and a deeper understanding of oneself. The way these two types complement one another is another reason INFJs love INTJs so much. INFJs can grow and learn in their conversations with INTJs while also finally engaging in those deep conversations about their inner world that they are dying to talk about.

Every well-developed MBTI type can get along, but there’s a special sauce and ingredients in INTJs that make INFJs flow to them like bees to honey. If you’re an INFJ and have an INTJ in your life you don’t know too well, do yourself a favor and get to know them better.