5 Signs You’re Giving Them Too Much Access To You
When you like someone, it’s easy to lower your standards or widen your boundaries without even realizing. After all, you don’t want to chase them away. You don’t want to miss out on your chance to be with them forever. But some people aren’t deserving of your time and attention. Here are some signs that you’re giving someone way too much access to you:
They never answer your texts – but expect you to answer theirs at a moment’s notice. Relationships are supposed to be equal. You shouldn’t be putting in more effort than they are – and you shouldn’t be giving them more access to you than you’re receiving in return. If you’ll answer them at any time of night but they can’t take two seconds out of their day to return a text that you send, the relationship is off balance. And you deserve so much better.
They feel like they can come and go as they please. They assume you’re still going to be there, no matter how long they’re gone. They might ghost you for months, then come right back like nothing is wrong. That’s because they assume you aren’t going to turn them away. They assume you’re always going to welcome them back with open arms so it doesn’t matter how they treat you. It doesn’t matter how unloved they make you feel. They think you’ll always be there for them, so they don’t mind treating you terribly.
They expect you to drop everything to hang out with them. You shouldn’t have to cancel on friends or keep your schedule completely clear just in case they happen to invite you out at the last second. Their time isn’t any more valuable than your time. They can’t expect you to drop everything to rush to see them, simply because they’re unable to set a time and a place to meet you ahead of time. If they really want to see you, then they can make a plan in advance. They don’t need to keep you waiting until the last second.
They have zero boundaries. They’ll show up at your doorstep or your place of work without giving you a head’s up or an opportunity to say no. They won’t consider how their drop-in might impact you or make your life harder. All they’ll care about is that they need you. When they’re in the mood to remember your existence, they’ll be impatient. They won’t want to wait for a time that’s convenient for you. They’ll want you to accommodate them anyway. They assume you’ll do anything for them.
You feel emotionally drained by them. This person shouldn’t exhaust you. Dealing with them shouldn’t feel like it’s sapping all your energy. You should come away from conversations with them energized, not drained. If you’re the person who is always getting left on read and who is feeling unappreciated, then you’re not receiving the level of respect you need. And you should stop giving this person so much access to you. Stop letting them treat you worse than you deserve.