5 Concrete Ways To Ruin A Budding Relationship (Without Even Realizing It)

Relationships can appear quite straightforward once you comprehend the core dynamics involved. However, lacking this understanding can lead you down a labyrinth of confusion.

The initial stages of a relationship often foster the most uncertainty. This is a time when everything feels precarious, and understanding your status within the relationship or its future direction becomes a challenge.

The way men and women experience and process relationships differs. Men tend to live more in the present; if the relationship brings joy in the moment, they’re content. However, if it turns unpleasant, they’re likely to distance themselves or depart.

Contrastingly, women often focus on details, nuances, and ‘clues,’ both real and imagined. In their pursuit to comprehend the situation and their partner’s feelings, they might lose sight of the essence of what’s truly important — the current state of the relationship.

Nobody intentionally seeks to sabotage their relationship (at least not if you genuinely like your partner). On the other hand, women often enter a relationship with the best intentions, only to be taken aback when it falls apart before it has really started.

Here are five things you might be doing unknowingly that can ruin your relationship…

1. Jumping the Gun

You might find this scenario familiar. You meet a guy, hit it off instantly, and after a few dates, you realize he possesses every quality you seek in a man. Despite your best efforts, you can’t help but envision a perfect future together.

You reminisce about all the uncanny coincidences leading to your meeting, and feel certain this union was predestined. You’re not officially together yet, but the thought of dating another guy feels almost like an affair. You are convinced he’s the one. Your time together is amazing, conversations last for hours, everything seems perfect except… you’re on two entirely different pages!

Men are not oblivious to the vibe and energy a woman gives off. When a man senses pressure, even slight, he backs off. Panic sets in and your grip tightens, thinking you’d be a fool to let the love of your life slip away! The more you push, the more he withdraws until all that remains is the memory of him and the pain of contemplating what could have been.

This scenario underlines the importance of being in the moment, a trait men often display. Women can be too, but they sometimes get overly zealous when a promising prospect enters the picture. Such pressure can be a huge turn-off and could quickly transform a promising relationship into a nonexistent one. So, take a breath, quiet the chatter in your mind, and focus on enjoying your relationship for what it is, right here, right now.

2. Overanalyzing

It’s all too easy to overanalyze when you meet a great guy and feel slightly anxious about reciprocation. In an attempt to shield yourself, you interpret clues and decode meanings.

If something appears like a bad sign, you promptly address it. You dissect his texts and e-mails, debate endlessly over how to respond, and spend hours discussing why he’s taking so long to text back. You replay every interaction, keeping a tally of the positive and negative signs. It’s tiring just thinking about it!

In reality, 90% of relationship issues wouldn’t exist if we could just stop obsessing, analyzing, and simply go with the flow.

The more time you spend thinking and talking about him, the more invested you become. This makes it harder to handle if the relationship ends. Men appreciate simplicity and drama-free lives and relationships. The most attractive woman to a man is one who goes with the flow, present in the relationship without putting undue pressure on it. If you are playing “emotional detective,” you’ll be too busy worrying about the relationship to actually enjoy it!

3. Being Official Before You’re Actually Official

This is, by far, the most detrimental relationship mistake. You meet a guy, like him a lot, and cut off all other potential suitors, focusing exclusively on him even though there’s no agreement on exclusivity.

The typical result is the guy telling the girl, “I like our relationship as it is and don’t want to label it,” leaving her devastated but sticking around anyway, hoping he’ll change his mind. Sounds familiar? I know it does to me!

If you’re not inclined to date multiple guys simultaneously, that’s fine. Just refrain from acting like his girlfriend until you are one. Until then, keep your dating profiles active and don’t prioritize him over everything else in your life.

4. Dropping Your Life for Him

This is another prevalent relationship trap. You start seeing a guy, spending more time together until he becomes the primary focus of your life.

You must remember that men are drawn to you because of the well-rounded, fulfilling life you enjoyed before meeting them. If you abandon your life for him, you burden him with the responsibility of being your sole source of happiness and fulfillment, which can be overwhelming.

The takeaway here is not to stop being who you were before the relationship once you’re in it. Keep your life balanced, fun, and fulfilling with multiple sources of happiness.

5. Not Seeing the Relationship for What It Is

When it comes to relationships, delusions are the real devils. Women often possess an uncanny ability to see what they want to see.

A guy might declare he doesn’t want a relationship, but you remain hopeful, convinced he’ll change his mind. You overlook his direct communication and focus on the nice things he did or said since you met. These are then tallied and used as evidence of his affection. But, ignoring signs that he’s not serious won’t help the situation.

Before embarking on a relationship, you must be clear about what you want. Otherwise, it’s far too easy to get ensnared in something undesirable. If you want a committed relationship or marriage, give yourself permission to want it. Knowing what you want is the only way to get it.