5 Ways You’re Unintentionally Ruining Your Relationship

Even though you’re trying hard to be a good partner, some of your behaviors might backfire. They might not be as healthy as you originally think. Here are a few ways you might be unintentionally ruining your relationship, even though you feel like you’ve been doing the right thing:

You aren’t opening up to your partner about your concerns and complaints.

You might be trying to do the right thing by keeping quiet. You might feel like you’re taking the high road and saving your partner some trouble. But you shouldn’t be trying so hard to protect their ego that you end up lying to them or keeping secrets from them. Pretending everything is fine isn’t as noble as you think. It could actually cause problems to snowball. After all, if your partner has no idea what’s been bothering you, they won’t figure out ways to fix it. You need to be honest with each other, even when it’s awkward, if you want the relationship to last.

You’re spending every waking moment together.

It’s great if your partner is your best friend, but you should have your own lives. You should have hobbies and interests that make you happy outside of the relationship. If you’re relying on them to be the sole source of your happiness, it puts an unfair amount of pressure on them. Besides, if you spend some time apart, you’ll have the chance to miss each other. And that time you spend together will feel even more valuable.

You let them make all of the decisions without providing your own input.

Relationships are about compromise. If this person is the right person for you, then they will value your opinion. They don’t want you to say what you think they want to hear. They want to hear your real thoughts. Instead of agreeing with every word that comes out of their mouth to keep the peace, give them your real opinion. After all, you can’t be a real team if you’re letting them play the leader all the time. There should be give and take in the relationship. You shouldn’t be letting them do all the work.

You’re apologizing without understanding what really upset them.

When they’re mad at you, your instinct might be to apologize so you can sweep the problem under the rug as quickly as possible. But if you don’t understand what you’re apologizing for, then there’s a chance history will repeat itself. Sometimes, issues require the two of you to sit down and talk things through. Even though you don’t want things to feel weird between you, apologizing and then forgetting about the issue isn’t always the answer. Sometimes, you need to really dig deep. Open up to each other.

You’re avoiding any type of change in the relationship.

Even though you’re happy right now, that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to try new things or reach new milestones. Relationships are bound to change over time because people are bound to change over time. You should be growing alongside your partner. You should be excited to see where the future takes you. If you refuse to grow as a couple, you could end up growing apart.