6 Concrete Signs He’s Not Your Soulmate (He’s Just Giving You More Than The Bare Minimum)

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell whether someone is perfect for you or is simply better than your exes, especially when you’ve dated people who treated you terribly in the past. Remember, just because they’re better than the last person you dated doesn’t mean they’re the one for you. Here are some concrete signs he’s not your soulmate. He’s just giving you more than the bare minimum.

You talk all the time — but the conversations feel forced and repetitive.

He’s putting in the effort by reaching out to you and keeping the conversations going, which is wonderful. But since you aren’t meant for each other, those conversations aren’t the most interesting. There’s a lot of back and forth, asking each other what you’re doing and making the same jokes that you made the last time you talked and the time before that. You don’t love talking to him specifically, but you appreciate the effort because it’s more than you’re used to.

You hang out all the time — but there are long, awkward silences.

You see each other quite a bit, but it’s usually not the highlight of your week. You appreciate that they set aside time for you, but you would be happier doing other things. After all, most of the time you’re quietly listening to Netflix or staring at your phones, scrolling through social media instead of talking to each other. You wouldn’t mind silences if they were comfortable, but these are awkward.

You don’t feel sparks when you touch.

Kissing is fine. Cuddling is fine. Sex is fine. But you don’t look forward to any of the above. You aren’t dying to get closer to them. You don’t feel butterflies when they walk into the room or count down the seconds until you see each other again. You enjoy their company but don’t crave it. Honestly, you could live without them.

You talk about your feelings and the future — but you never agree.

Even though you both keep things respectful during disagreements and try your best to communicate how you’re feeling, you’re never on the same page. You never agree. You want completely different things from this world, so there’s really no fair way to compromise.

You love them — but you don’t love who you are around them.

You don’t feel entirely comfortable around them. You aren’t able to let your guard down and be your weirdest, most authentic self. It’s not that you think they’re going to judge you. It’s just that your senses of humor or your values don’t lines up completely. You’re too different. They don’t bring out the best in you and you don’t bring out the best in them.

You trust them not to cheat — but feel like you aren’t right for them.

Even though they aren’t staring at anyone else or exploring other options, you feel like you don’t fit well together. You feel like someone else would be able to make them happier–and make you happier. It’s not anything you’ve done wrong or that they’ve done wrong. The connection simply isn’t there.