Thought Catalog Agency

6 Concrete Signs You’re Driven By External Validation

Are you setting goals for external validation versus prioritizing internal happiness? In a world driven by social media and comparison, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking approval from others rather than focusing on what truly makes us happy.

So, let’s explore six concrete signs that may indicate you’re setting goals for external validation, as well as sharing some tips on how to shift your mindset toward pursuing goals that bring you genuine joy and fulfillment.

Constantly Seeking Approval

One telltale sign that your goals may be rooted in external validation is if you find yourself constantly seeking approval from others. Do you frequently base your decisions on what others might think, rather than considering your own desires and aspirations? Remember, happiness should come from within, and seeking external validation can often lead to a never-ending cycle of comparison and disappointment.

Tip: Take some time to reflect on your values, passions, and what truly makes you happy. Prioritize your own opinions and intuition when setting goals, and trust that your unique path will bring you the most fulfillment.

Comparing Yourself to Others

Do you often find yourself comparing your achievements, appearance, or lifestyle to those of others? This habit is a clear sign that you’re seeking validation from external sources. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and constantly comparing yourself to others will only hinder your own growth and happiness.

Tip: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own progress and personal growth. Celebrate your achievements, big or small, and recognize that success is subjective. Comparison is the thief of joy, so embrace your individuality and stay in your own lane.

Setting Goals Based on Society’s Expectations

Society often imposes certain expectations on us, such as achieving certain milestones by a certain age or conforming to societal norms. If you find yourself setting goals solely to meet these expectations rather than following your own passions and desires, it’s a sign that you’re seeking external validation.

Tip: Take the time to reflect on what truly brings you joy and fulfillment. Identify your own values and aspirations, and set goals that align with your authentic self. Remember, your path may look different from others’, and that’s perfectly okay.

Overwhelming Fear of Failure

If the fear of failure holds you back from pursuing your true passions and goals, it’s likely that external validation is driving your decision-making process. Seeking validation from others often stems from a deep-rooted fear of not being accepted or valued, which can prevent you from taking risks and following your heart.

Tip: Embrace failure as a learning opportunity and a stepping stone to success. Remember that true growth comes from stepping outside your comfort zone. Focus on personal development, set realistic goals, and acknowledge that mistakes are part of the journey toward self-discovery and happiness.

Lack of Genuine Fulfillment

Do you often find yourself achieving goals but feeling empty or unfulfilled afterward? This could be a sign that your goals are driven by external validation rather than internal happiness. External achievements alone cannot provide long-lasting fulfillment if they don’t align with your true desires.

Tip: Shift your focus from external achievements to internal fulfillment. Ask yourself, how happy do you truly feel inside? Engage in activities that bring you joy, explore your passions, and invest time in personal growth. True happiness comes from aligning your goals with your authentic self.

Seeking Constant Validation Online

In the age of social media, seeking validation online has become increasingly common. If you find yourself constantly seeking approval through likes, comments, or followers, it’s important to recognize that these external validations are fleeting and can negatively impact your self-worth and happiness.

Tip: Limit your time on social media and focus on cultivating genuine connections with loved ones offline. Use social media as a platform for inspiration and creativity, rather than a validation-seeking tool. Remember, your self-worth is not determined by the number of likes or followers you have.

Setting goals for external validation can be a detrimental cycle that inhibits your personal growth and true happiness. By recognizing these concrete signs and shifting your mindset towards internal happiness, you can start living a life driven by authenticity and fulfillment. Embrace your unique journey, celebrate your achievements, and prioritize what truly brings you joy. Remember, your happiness is the ultimate goal!