6 Red Flags (During Fights) That Prove Your Relationship Is Over
Every single couple on the planet fights. But the strongest couples keep things respectful, even when they’re upset. If your person repeatedly displays more than one of these behaviors during fights, then the relationship should probably end soon:
They leave (in order to get back at you). They aren’t leaving to take a walk around the block and cool off. They’re leaving to get wasted with friends or to visit an ex. They’re leaving to hurt you. On purpose. And the right person would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, no matter how upset they are with you.
They throw old mistakes back in your face. If they swear that they’ve forgiven you for a mistake you’ve made in the past, but then throw it back into your face during every argument, they obviously haven’t forgiven you. And if you’re unable to move past old arguments, if you’re having the same fights again and again, then the trust might be too broken. You might have to end the relationship. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in the same cycle.
They refuse to apologize for the role they played in the problem. If you love someone, hurting them will hurt you. So if your partner couldn’t care less about your feelings and doesn’t feel bad about what they’ve done, that’s a serious problem. If they can’t own up to what they’ve done, if they refuse to take responsibility for their actions and refuse to apologize, then why would you want to stay with them anyway?
They threaten to break up with you whenever you’re upset. They shouldn’t threaten to break up with you unless they’re serious about it. They shouldn’t try to scare you into backing down or ending the argument by making you afraid of losing them. In a healthy relationship, you can bring up anything. You can talk through your problems without fear of being attacked or given an ultimatum.
They cannot have a conversation without screaming and cursing. Sometimes, emotions are high. But if you can’t come back together to talk about an issue without getting screamed at or insulted, then you’re never going to solve any problems. You’re never going to come to compromises or work out solutions. You need someone who can walk away, cool down, and then have a relatively calm conversation with you so you can fix whatever is wrong and hear each other out.
They accuse you of overreacting. Your person should take your emotions seriously. Even if they don’t initially understand where you’re coming from, they should hear you out. They should listen carefully. And they should try their hardest to understand why you feel how you feel. If they immediately accuse you of overreacting and claim that you’re not appreciating everything they do for you, as if you don’t have the right to be upset with them ever, then there’s a problem. You’re allowed to be upset. And the right person would rather hear what’s wrong than let it fester and have you secretly suffer in silence.