They make excuses about why they don’t want a relationship label. If they just want to have fun and don’t want anything complicated, then they probably aren’t interested in a relationship with you. There’s potential they could change their mind if you stick around long enough. But there’s also potential that they’re lying to you to spare your feelings. Your interest in them might be stronger than their interest in you.
You catch them flirting with others with the same intensity that they flirt with you. If you’re not a couple yet, they don’t owe you their loyalty. They’re allowed to flirt with other people. However, it’s sketchy if they’re using the same lines on someone else and making the same moves on someone else. If you’re not the only one who has their attention, it means you’re only getting a portion of their heart. And you deserve the whole thing.
They pull you in, make you want them, and then pull away again. Whenever you feel like they’re finally going to ask you on a date, they run in the other direction. They might treat you like the love of their life one day, but the next day, they’re nowhere to be seen. They aren’t answering your texts. They aren’t showing up when you need them. They only want you around when it’s convenient for them, and when emotions get too heavy, they back away. They don’t want you, but they don’t want you to stop wanting them.
They only agree to hang out in private. They don’t want you to meet their family and friends. They don’t want to be seen with you in public. They don’t want to post any pictures with you on social media. They only want to hang out inside of their apartment, where no one else will see how close you’ve grown. If they don’t want anyone mistaking you for a couple, then they probably don’t want to be part of a couple.
They’re inconsistent when it comes to contacting you. There are weeks when you won’t go a day without talking – but then there are weeks (or even months) where they go without speaking to you, as if it’s no big deal. Even though they’re busy, they’re going to need to stay in touch if they want to form a real connection with you. They can’t go MIA without an explanation. If they drop out of your life without a moment’s notice, and assume you’ll always be waiting when they come back, your connection might not flourish into a serious relationship. You might be better off as friends.
Nothing significant has changed in months, maybe even years. You might flirt with them nonstop, but you’ve always flirted with them nonstop. They might cuddle with them and even make out with them, but they’ve always been touchy. Even though it feels like a relationship is on the horizon, you’ve been stuck at the same stage for an extremely long time. You keep thinking you’re going to advance to the next one, but it never happens. It’s like you’re running in place and aren’t getting anywhere new.