Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes, forgiveness is the best course of action if you want to preserve a beautiful relationship. However, not everyone deserves another chance. Here are some signs someone who hurt you is bound to do it again:
They made you feel sorry for them, even though they screwed up.
They found a way to turn the situation around so you were consoling them by the end of the conversation. They manipulated your emotions so that you would stop being angry with them and would feel sorry for them instead. They decided that your feelings didn’t matter as much as their feelings.
They have shown zero interest in altering their behavior.
Even though they know their mistakes hurt you, they’re already slipping back into bad habits. They aren’t putting any effort into changing, even though they promised they would do better in the future. Their words aren’t matching up with their actions. They’re simply saying what you want to hear, even though they have no intention of following through on their promises.
They bought you an expensive present and assumed everything would be fine.
In order to make it up to you, they skipped the apology. They skipped the accountability. They skipped the heart to heart. When they realized you were upset, they simply bought you a bouquet of roses or a new necklace and then pretended everything was okay again. There was no real acknowledgment of the problem. They thought that calming you down with gifts would be easier than sitting down and having a hard conversation with you.
They invalidated your feelings.
Instead of accepting responsibility for their unacceptable actions, they brought up all the nice things they have done for you in the past. They acted like you were heartless for suggesting they don’t care when they’ve done so much for you over the course of your relationship. Instead of taking your feelings into consideration, they made you feel guilty for calling them out. They made you feel like you didn’t have a right to be upset with them when they’re such an amazing partner.
You had to force an apology out of them.
They weren’t interested in apologizing until they realized how angry you were because they didn’t think they did anything wrong. You had to spell out their mistakes for them and explain exactly what they were supposed to be apologizing about. Then they pretty much repeated the information back to you to stop you from yelling. Their apology clearly didn’t come from the bottom of their heart. They simply pretended they were sorry so they could put the argument in the past.
This isn’t the first time you’ve gone through this song and dance.
They’ve apologized for hurting you in the past and have done it again. Their track record isn’t the greatest, but you always believe them. You always have hope that they’re going to change. But they always disappoint you. Even though you want to keep giving out second chances, sometimes you have to put your foot down. You have to decide you deserve better than this terrible treatment.