You shouldn’t stay in the wrong relationship because you’re scared of being alone or because have a long, complicated history together and you feel like you owe them your love. But you don’t want to leave the right relationship over a misunderstanding or temporary argument, either. If every single one of these statements apply, then you might want to try fixing the relationship before jumping into a breakup. There’s still a chance that it could work out in the end.
You’re both willing to put effort into the relationship.
If only one of you is willing to apologize for mistakes and work on problems, then the relationship isn’t going to work out. You both need to make a commitment to bettering yourself for the good of the relationship. If one of you wants out, then it doesn’t matter how badly the other tries to fix things. It takes two people to keep a relationship together. One won’t cut it.
This is the first time you’ve thought about a breakup.
You haven’t been waiting for the perfect moment to leave them. You haven’t felt disrespected or ignored by this person before. The urge to breakup is a new one. And the problem you’re facing is fixable. It’s something you can get past if you’re given enough time. They haven’t irreparably broken your trust or crossed a firm, unforgivable boundary. There’s room for reconciliation.
This person makes you feel happy, safe, and respected.
They’re a good person. They want what’s best for you. They try their hardest to make you happy and you do the same. Even though things have been rough between you lately, you still consider them a trusted friend and supporter. Deep down, you still want to give them a chance. You think they deserve it.
You’re able to have clear, open communication with each other.
You’re able to speak to each other about the issue without getting into a screaming match. You can talk about your feelings without feeling judged. There’s a good chance you can come to a compromise and learn from each other because you’re both open to listening. You’re not overly defensive or stubborn about the role you each played in the problem.
You believe that they are going to make the changes they’re promising to make.
They don’t have a bad habit of promising you the world, then going back on that promise. They don’t have a history of lying to your face, telling you what you want to hear. You believe them when they say they’re going to make changes. You trust that they’re being genuine when they say they love you and want to make this work.
You want to be with them and only them.
You shouldn’t stay with them because you feel like it would be heartless to leave. You shouldn’t stay because you feel like it’s expected of you. You need to do what’s best for yourself, so ask yourself what you really want. If you’re madly in love with them and genuinely want to make things work, then give it another shot. But if your gut tells you the relationship is wrong, save them some time and go now.