Sometimes, relationships can be repaired with enough tough conversations and compromises. Sometimes, communicating will at least give you some sense of closure. Other times, dealing with this person is not worth the headache they will give you. It will only make your mental health worse. If you can relate to the experiences below, you should give up on trying to talk sense into this person because you’re clearly better off apart:
Your feelings aren’t being taken into consideration.
This person only cares about their point of view. They refuse to listen to what you have to say. They will flip out if you try to counter their argument, scream over what you’re saying so you don’t get a chance to defend yourself, and act like your opinions are invalid. They have no interest in making peace with you. They’re only interested in winning the fight and hearing you admit that they were right.
They’re crossing boundaries out of anger.
Maybe they’re posting nasty comments about you on social media where everyone can see – your friends, your family, your coworkers. Or maybe they’re cursing you out during arguments and making mean comments that even your worst enemy wouldn’t use against you. Either way, they’re fighting dirty. They aren’t playing fair because they’ve stopped caring about your feelings. All they want to do is hurt you.
They’re refusing to take responsibility for the part they played.
It’s rare that one person is the bad guy and the other is completely innocent. If they want you to take responsibility for your mistakes, then they should do the same. They should admit when they were wrong and give apologies when they’re due. If you’re the only person on your hands and knees, giving them all the power, then the relationship is probably already broken beyond repair.
You keep having the same arguments on a loop.
You’re not making any progress. Whenever you speak to this person, they bring up the same arguments again and again. They aren’t accepting your apologies or agreeing to work through issues with you. All they’re doing is complaining about all the things you’ve done wrong and how you’re the enemy in the situation. If you’re the only person trying to repair the relationship, you’re never going to succeed. You need two people to put in effort. If they aren’t interested in anything other than a fight, then you’re better off walking away.
There’s nothing more you can do.
You’ve apologized to them. You’ve listened to them rant. You’ve explained your side of the situation. You’ve agreed to make changes and compromises. You’ve reiterated how much you care about them. You’ve even tried giving it time, but nothing seems to work. You’ve done everything within your power to make them happy, but they are still pissed at you.
Dealing with them has become exhausting.
This fight isn’t fresh. It’s been going on for a while and quite frankly, you aren’t sure how much longer you can take it. Dealing with them is exhausting. They only stress you out. Although you love them and it hurts to walk away from them, sometimes cutting ties is best for the both of you. If you’re only causing each other pain and can’t see an endpoint to these fights in sight, you might be better off leaving them and loving them from afar.