6 Concrete Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries
They minimalize your feelings.
Whenever you tell them the reason why you’re upset or uncomfortable, they make a joke out of the situation. Or they accuse you of overreacting. Or they change the subject because they don’t want to hear you complaining. They never take your emotions seriously. They don’t believe your experiences or opinions are valid, so they aren’t even going to do the bare minimum and listen to what you have to say.
They do whatever is easiest for them, regardless of how it might make you feel.
They might claim that they care about your feelings, but the second your boundaries get in the way of something they want, they are going to ignore them. They don’t want to be inconvenienced in any way. They care more about their own desires than your comfort, so they’ll play along until they feel like your boundaries are getting in their way. Then all bets are off. They’ll break your rules now and apologize later.
They guilt-trip you into doing what they want.
They might act like they care about your feelings, but then they’ll turn around and make you feel like a horrible person for setting boundaries. They’ll guilt trip you about your decision until you feel forced to change that decision. And then they get to look like the good guy because technically they didn’t complain. Technically it was your own choice.
They cross lines again and again.
They promise you that they aren’t going to make the same mistake twice, but it happens anyway. Again. And again. They never learn from their mistakes. Even though you’ve been perfectly clear about your feelings, they aren’t taking your side into consideration. They’re doing whatever they want and assuming that you’re going to forgive them like you’ve done so many times in the past. They’re taking advantage of your kindness.
They purposely try to make you jealous.
They talk about other people in their life who can take a joke or who set aside more time to spend with them than you do. They play the comparison game in order to make you feel like your boundaries are unreasonable. They want you to feel like you’re being ridiculous, even when your thoughts are purposely valid, so they can get away with treating you however they want. The worse you feel about setting boundaries, the more likely you are to backtrack on them.
They flat-out refuse to care about your boundaries.
They put themselves first in every single situation. Whatever you have to say goes in one ear and out the other. They have absolutely no desire to compromise with you. They feel like, if you’re uncomfortable, that’s your own problem. They won’t bother to listen to your side of the story or try to understand where you’re coming from. They’ll simply ignore your boundaries and see how long they can get away with it. If you let them stay in your life anyway, then they’re never going to change. Why would they, when they can keep hurting you without any consequences?