6 Signs You’re Only Still Together Because You Have History

You don’t want to stay in the wrong relationship, simply because you’ve already devoted a large amount of time to it. It’s never too late to walk away. You don’t have to stay with someone tomorrow, just because you were with them yesterday. Although it’s hard to walk away from someone you’ve known a long time, here are some signs that you’re only still together because you have history and should really part ways:

All of your favorite memories are in the distant past.

When you think about your favorite moments you’ve shared, they’re all years and years ago. There’s nothing that happened lately you enjoyed. No special dates. No special moments. Every couple goes through rough patches from time to time, but if you can’t name one memory that makes you smile from the last few months, that’s a problem.

You’re always hoping things will go back to the way they were.

If you’ve thought about breaking up with them, but have only stayed because they used to be so sweet and used to be so much fun, then you should really ask yourself why all the things you love about them are in the past tense. You can’t assume they’re going to remain the same person throughout the relationship. Sometimes, people change. People grow apart. You might have made sense together once upon a time, but that doesn’t mean you should stay together moving forward.

You’re scared of disappointing the people around you.

Since you’ve been together for such a long time, your lives have severely overlapped. Maybe you have children (or pets) together. Maybe you have all the same friends. Maybe their family has started to feel like your own family. But no matter the case, you can’t stay with someone to please someone else. You need to choose your own happiness. If the others really care about you, they’ll understand. Maybe not today. But someday.

You’re always talking about the good old days.

The only time you’re really getting along and laughing together is when you’re talking about the highlights from your past. But you aren’t actively making any new memories together. You aren’t putting in the effort to rekindle that spark — or you are putting in the effort and it still doesn’t feel the same. Either way, thinking about your memories makes you happy, but thinking about your present makes you miserable.

You’re mostly avoiding breaking up because of the logistics.

When you imagine breaking up with them, the worst part isn’t the pain you would feel over losing them. It’s the stress you would go through dividing up your things, figuring out where you’re going to live, and how you’re going to pay the bills without them. Basically, the thought of being without them isn’t really that bad. It’s everything else that worries you.

You’re only staying because you’re used to your routine.

They have become such a constant in your life that the idea of leaving rarely crosses your mind. You’ve forgotten what it was like to live without them — and you’ve forgotten that it’s even an option. But it is. You don’t have to stay together, just because you’ve grown used to this lifestyle. Maybe you feel comfortable, but do you feel happy? Do you feel like you’re in the right place?