Texts demanding that you prove where you are. If your person trusts you, then they should believe you when you tell them you’re out with your friends or are busy working. If they demand you send them photographic evidence that you’re really where you say you are, even though you’ve given them no reason to worry about your loyalty, then the trust clearly isn’t there. You want to date someone who believes you, not someone who doubts you.
Texts cursing you out. No relationship is perfect. Every couple is going to get into arguments from time to time. It’s healthy to air your frustrations with each other – but you can do that in a mature, respectful way. If your partner is calling you mean names and saying the most hurting things that pop into their head, they are crossing a line. There’s no reason to get nasty. The right person wouldn’t disrespect you, even when they’re angry, even when they’re drunk.
Texts that push boundaries that make you uncomfortable. Your partner isn’t entitled to your body, simply because you’re in a relationship. You get to choose what you want to do with your body. If you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to send nudes or sext your partner, and they keep begging you to change your tune, they are being unfair to you. They are purposely, carelessly, crossing a line that you have already established. You’re not being cruel by repeatedly turning them down. They’re being cruel by pressuring you.
Texts that guilt trip you into coming home. Your partner shouldn’t be sending you passive-aggressive texts when you’re out without them. They shouldn’t be making comments like have fun without me or hope you’re enjoying all the attention from the men at the bar when you’re celebrating a birthday with friends. Your partner should be happy whenever you’re happy. They should encourage you to have a life outside of them. They should be excited when you have fun plans, not jealous of them.
Texts that come in the middle of the night (and only the middle of the night). If someone cares about you, they’ll try their best to keep in contact with you regularly. They won’t ignore you when they’re sober and only text you when it’s late at night and they’re in the mood for a hookup. If this person really cared about you, they’d be just as excited to see you in the daylight and share a friendly cup of coffee.
Texts that make you feel worthless. Your partner shouldn’t be comparing you to other people. They shouldn’t be commenting on how they wish you looked. They shouldn’t be pointing out all of your flaws and making you feel like you aren’t good enough. If your person makes a habit out of hurting your feelings, they aren’t the right person. You deserve someone who texts you with compliments and I miss yous, not someone who makes you nervous whenever you hear your phone go off.