You feel emotionally drained after every conversation with them. This person is always involved in some sort of drama. They always have a problem with a friend, a partner, a relative, or a coworker. And most of the time, these problems are repetitive. They keep making the same mistake over and over again. They never take your advice. They never take accountability for their actions. They never hold themselves to a higher standard.
They only care about what’s bothering them. These people will spend hours venting about their problems, but they won’t want to sit around and listen to yours. When something is bothering you, they’ll try to downplay it. They’ll act like you’re being overemotional. They might even try to one-up you and complain about how their problems are way worse. They’ll always find a way to steer the conversation back to themselves.
They guilt-trip you into being there for them. Even though they are rarely there when you need them, they’ll manipulate you into coming whenever they call. They’ll guilt trip you into doing favors for them and forgiving them when they make a mistake. They never compromise, but they always seem to get their way. They know the right things to say, the perfect buttons to push.
They criticize every little thing you do. They can’t keep their opinions to themselves. When they don’t like the way you’re dressed or your new haircut or the music you play in the car, they speak up. They might give ‘friendly’ suggestions on how you can improve your taste, but it comes across as condescending and rude. The worst part is, they feel like they’re doing the right thing, like they’re being helpful.
They won’t let you leave. If you need space from them, you’re going to have a hard time getting it. They occupy as much of your time as possible. If you ignore their messages or turn down plans with them, they are going to need specific reasons why. They won’t leave well-enough alone. They’re going to keep bothering you until they break you down and convince you to deal with them again.
They are selfish. They only care about themselves. Your feelings are unimportant, and if they hurt you, they won’t bother to apologize. They will show up to events late because they don’t care about wasting your time. And they will ignore you whenever it’s convenient for them. They only want you around when you can give them something, whether that’s a ride to the airport, some money, or an ear that will listen to them talk.
You dread answering their texts. The biggest sign this person is emotionally draining is that you don’t want to deal with them. You talk to them because you feel like you’re obligated, or maybe because it’s become a bad habit. Either way, you don’t really want to talk to them. When they text, you get a bad feeling in your stomach. Honestly, you’re happier when they aren’t around.