Jakob Wandel

7 Concrete Signs You Can’t Trust Your Partner

Everyone stretches the truth once in a while. One harmless little lie won’t make or break your relationship. However, if you can relate to every single one of these statements, you probably can’t trust your person:

They leave out details.

Whenever you try to have a conversation with them about their day, it’s like pulling teeth. They never give details about who they were hanging out with or what they were doing. They give you the vaguest possible answers. Even when you ask pointed questions, they dance around the truth. They find ways to turn the conversation around and talk about something else.

You aren’t a part of their personal life.

You don’t know much about their life outside of your relationship because they’ve never taken the time to introduce you to their family and friends. They don’t invite you around for holidays. They don’t invite you to work functions as their plus-ones. They don’t ask you to come out with their friends on the weekend so you can all hang out together. Your life with them is completely separate from their life with literally everyone else they know.

You’ve caught them in lies before.

Everyone tells little white lies here and there, but you’ve caught this person in huge lies. Unacceptable lies. If they’ve looked you directly in the eyes and lied to you once, then they’ll do it again. You’re never going to know whether they’re telling the truth. You’re always going to wonder whether you can trust them in the future when you couldn’t trust them in the past.

Their stories never add up.

You can never understand what they’re trying to tell you because their story keeps changing. Every time you ask them a question, they contradict something they said earlier. Sometimes, you feel like you’re the one who’s confused because you can never keep up with what they’re saying. There are too many lies and it’s impossible to make sense of them.

They lie to everyone else they love.

You’ve watched them lie to family and friends without breaking a sweat. You know that they’re capable of fooling the people who trust them. You know that there’s a chance they’re doing the same exact thing to you that you’ve watched them do to countless other people they claim to love.  

They’ve cheated on exes.

Sometimes, people change. Other times, their relationship history will give you a sneak peek of what you can expect in the future. If your person has a history of cheating and doesn’t seem to feel bad about it, then there’s a chance they could do the same thing to you.

You have a gut feeling something is wrong.

Sometimes, your body will pick up on clues before your mind has the chance to fully process what’s happening. If you feel uncomfortable around this person, if you have a feeling that they don’t have your best interests in mind, then you don’t have to spend any more time with this person. You’re allowed to listen to your instincts and go.