Uncoupled is a new Netflix show starring Neil Patrick Harris. It centers around a gay man who gets dumped by his partner of eighteen years and is forced to navigate life in NYC as a single person for the first time in decades. Although there are funny moments that keep the show light, there are also touching moments filled with beautiful life lessons. If you’re going through a breakup, here are a few things that Uncoupled will teach you:
Your breakup doesn’t make you unlovable. You shouldn’t blame yourself when someone walks away. You shouldn’t tear yourself apart and start listing out the reasons this person must have left you. When Michael starts talking about how he must feel too much, his friends remind him not to blame himself. They tell him: “You are absolutely a person worth loving.” And that’s true for you, too.
You won’t always get answers. Even though you want closure more than anything, that doesn’t mean you’re going to get it. Like Michael, you might never find out why this person left you. You might have a million unanswered questions, but you have to move on anyway. You have to accept that there are some things you will never know.
You need time to yourself before jumping back into a new relationship. In one episode, Michael jumped into a relationship with someone new to forget about his ex, then realized that it was moving too fast for him. Even though he missed being in a relationship, that didn’t mean it was a good idea to jump into a new one. He needed time alone. Time to himself. Time to heal.
Don’t blame yourself for not seeing the signs. Sometimes, people will surprise you. It’s not your fault if you were unable to see the breakup coming. You don’t have to sit there and replay every single moment of the past in your mind, wondering whether you missed the signs. That’s only going to cause you more heartache. Look to the future, not the past.
Your friends are going to help you get through this. You don’t have to go through this pain alone. Even though you’re single, that doesn’t mean you’re entirely on your own. There are people out there who love you and care about you. They want to see you happy, so don’t push them away.
You are not the only one feeling lost and confused. Like Michael, you might feel weird about dating again at your age, but so many other people are in the same situation. You aren’t the only one wondering how to use dating apps and survive in the modern dating world. Other people are in the exact same boat – but you’ll get the hang of it. You’ll figure it out.
You can be friends one day – but not today. You need to give yourself space from this person while you’re trying to heal. You don’t want to make the breakup harder on yourself by continuing to text them – especially when you have nothing nice to say in those texts. But if you two got along well enough to date for years, then maybe you can reunite one day and be friends again in the future.
You can have a full life without a relationship. You don’t need a relationship in order to experience moments of happiness. Michael has a wonderful job and wonderful friends. Even though he has a tough time dealing with the breakup, he still has moments of happiness. Moments when he realizes his self-worth.