Jep Gambardella

8 Deal-Breakers All Strong Women Have When It Comes To Love

Every woman is a strong woman when she finally realizes her power. The hidden power that she’s stashed away under layers and layers of insecurities and fears.

We know that people are different and come with baggage and presumptions about the world. But we also believe in deal-breakers because we have been through this before. This is not our first love rodeo, after all.

Regardless of whether we’re introverted or extroverted, unconventional or traditional, artistic or logical, we know what we want, and we’re not willing to compromise. 

Our work matters

We believe that we do great work that makes a difference in this world, whether it’s writing, running a bank, making coffee, cleaning the house, or nurturing our children. We have sometimes willingly given up careers and lifestyles to get where we’re now. So, we expect you to respect our work and be curious about what we do. Support our work struggles, and we will do the same for you.

Quality time together

We have different preferences for love languages, such as quality time, thoughtful gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. This is how you can make us feel loved and appreciated. We want you to learn our love language and make an effort to love us in our preferred way. If you’re serious about us, we don’t think that’s too much to ask.

Fundamental worldview differences

As strong women, we hold strong values about what we tolerate in the world and what breaks our hearts or infuriates us. We believe in these values, but we’re open to listening to your way of making sense of the world too. But if what you say seems insensitive, inconsiderate, and totally one-sided, we won’t hesitate to friendzone you immediately. 

Communication blocks

Effective communication is vital in any relationship, romantic or platonic. We expect you to pick up your game when it comes to communication. Pull your phone out and tell us if you’re not able to make an appointment. Text us how you feel about what we did or did not do yesterday. Let’s talk directly and make sense of what’s going on for you and for us.

Emotional immaturity

Yes, emotions are damn hard. We have also had our turn with escapism and spent exhausting hours on our therapists’ couch. No matter who messed us up in the past, walking around with a bunch of unresolved emotions and projecting that shit on others is not acceptable. Please clean up that mess before you come knocking on our door.

Authentic purpose

Do you know why you’re here? Do you know what sets your heart on fire? Are you taking steps towards your best life? The best life that’s authentic to you, not the best life that’s based on a checklist handed down by society. We are on our way to finding our truest selves. So, we will run for the hills from the wannabes. 

Zero games, please

We don’t play games in love or in other areas of our lives. We text you back when we see your message, and we ask for what we want in a relationship. We therefore expect the same from you. We know life is way too short to play games that lead to nothing but confusion and frustration for all parties involved. We will happily wear our hearts on our sleeves with the risk of being rejected by you.

The five-to-one ratio

Relationships are not a bed of roses or a jar of Nutella. We know that. But we also know that love is supposed to bring us joy and make our lives better. Remember, we are secure on our own, and we have rich lives and support systems that keep us deeply fulfilled. So, you need to positively add to our lives if you want to be in our lives. Experts suggest at least five positive interactions for each negative interaction for a happy relationship. 

So, if our intuition — the intuition that we’ve spent years developing — tells us that we’re not happy in the relationship, make no mistake, we will leave. No matter how much we love you or care about you or cherish what we have built together, we love ourselves and our inner children a little more than that. 

That’s what makes us strong women in the end. We have finally realized that all the validation we need has been deep within us all along.Â