Brutally Honest Signs Youโ€™re A Backup Plan, Not A Priority
Mathilde Langevin

Brutally Honest Signs You’re A Backup Plan, Not A Priority

You donโ€™t want to waste time on someone who doesnโ€™t see you as a priority. You donโ€™t want to do everything in your power to make them happy if they arenโ€™t willing to put the same effort into loving you. Here are a few signs that youโ€™re a backup plan, not a priority, and that you deserve so much better than them:

They act distant whenever theyโ€™re with you. Maybe they arenโ€™t focused on another person, but theyโ€™re focused on their emails. Their texts. Their own thoughts and daydreams. Remember, physically showing up is the least they can do. They should be there emotionally as well. They shouldnโ€™t feel a million miles away. They shouldnโ€™t give you the idea that they would rather be anywhere else than by your side. The right person will be one hundred percent present when theyโ€™re with you because they wonโ€™t want to miss out on an instant.

They only invite you to hang out at the last second. The only time they want to see you is when all of their other options are exhausted. When they realize that their other friends and potential partners are busy, and youโ€™re the only one left who hasnโ€™t turned them down yet. Remember, the right person will set aside time for you even when itโ€™s inconvenient. They will set plans with you days, or weeks, in advance if itโ€™s the only way to fit them into your schedule. But someone who sees you as a backup plan will only contact you at the last possible second.

They are inconsistent with their communication. If they wanted to be with you, then they would check in to see how youโ€™re doing frequently. They would make it known that they care about you. But if they only pop up every once in a while to smother you with compliments, then drop off the face of the planet completely, you canโ€™t trust that youโ€™re a priority. If you were a priority, then they wouldnโ€™t go MIA. They wouldnโ€™t leave you wondering what happened to them and whether they still feel the same since the last time youโ€™ve talked.

They put more effort into others than they put into you. If theyโ€™re always on their phones texting people they care about when theyโ€™re out with you, but they never seem to return your texts, then they clearly arenโ€™t as invested in you as they are with whoever is on the opposite side of that phone. They clearly arenโ€™t giving you the level of attention that theyโ€™re giving other people in their life. And if they arenโ€™t going to give you their whole heart, you shouldnโ€™t give them yours either.

Theyโ€™re always flirting with other people in front of you. If they wanted to be with you and only you, then they would make you feel special. They would make you feel valued. Flirting with other people, and making sure that they have other options, means that they arenโ€™t one hundred percent in on the idea of dating you. It means they arenโ€™t going to give you the loyalty and dedication that you deserve.