There’s A New Dating Trend Called ‘Cushioning’ (And It’s SO Toxic)

“Cushioning” refers to someone in a committed relationship entertaining other romantic prospects just in case their current partnership doesn’t work out. This way, they can “cushion” the blow that comes with a breakup and have other options to bounce back on were a split to happen.

In most cases, cushioning is solely based on creating emotional closeness. Think texting, FaceTiming, Snapchatting, light flirting, hanging out, etc. Cushioning usually doesn’t include getting physical with someone else. But this doesn’t mean cushioning is at all innocent.

There are many issues with cushioning but the biggest problems are the fact that the cushioned’s partner isn’t aware of the other relationships and that the intention of cushioning in the first place isn’t to make friends but to have romantic backups on reserve.

Cushioning is insecure, dishonest, and cowardly.

If someone is engaging in cushioning, they may think they’re one step ahead of the breakup game and are simply protecting themselves but this is hardly the case at all. In fact, cushioning doesn’t just hurt the cushions, it impacts the cushioned in a negative way as well. Because cushioning impedes one’s ability to be open and practice healthy communication. It’s important to build these relationship skills in any relationship someone finds themselves in, whether they think that relationship is built for longevity or not.

The truth is that someone should want to give a relationship their all and try their best rather than have one foot out the door. This is especially true when things get hard. It’s vital to learn how to navigate conflict and uncertainty in any serious partnership. Otherwise, no relationship that person finds themselves in will work out. And then all that will be left are what-ifs and regrets.

Even though the cushioned may not be behaving in physically unfaithful ways, exploring other romantic options and building emotional connections with those people while you’re in a committed relationship is the definition of emotional cheating and is not okay.

Cushioning has to stop. It’s not fair to anyone involved.