Brandon Woelfel

6 Things Not To Do When You Get Ghosted

Here are six things not to do when you get ghosted.

1. Test the waters by interacting on social media.

DO NOT like their Instagram posts, respond to their Instagram Stories, send them TikToks, or Snap them to see if they open it. Youโ€™re better than that! The best thing you can if someone has ghosted you is delete them off your socials altogether to rid yourself of the temptation to check their last active status (donโ€™t lie, we all do it) and start the healing process.

If you truly arenโ€™t ready to remove them from your following lists, thatโ€™s okay. You can still mute them to prevent yourself from seeing them post their latest Spotify find on their Instagram Story. The song isnโ€™t good anyway, save yourself the pain of seeing their name and mute their account. Youโ€™ll be better off, trust me.

2. Tell yourself youโ€™re imagining it.

Because youโ€™re not. If you think someone is ghosting you, there is usually a reason for this belief and that reason is usually that they are ghosting you. Face the radio silence and take it at face value: if someone isnโ€™t replying to your texts and itโ€™s been a week or more, youโ€™ve been ghosted.

3. Blame yourself.

Stop blaming yourself. Unless youโ€™re actually psychotic, their ghosting you has everything to do with them and their ability (or lack thereof) to communicate maturely. And besides, is that someone you really want to be with? Someone who treats people as a convenience and disposable? I think not.

4. Pretend youโ€™re okay with it.

You do not have to pretend to be okay with being ghosted. Being ghosted is painful. You got rejected. It doesnโ€™t make you weak to be hurt by this. Stop acting like you donโ€™t give a shit and feel what you actually do. This is the healthiest thing you can do to start letting go.

5. Think you need closure to move on.

Yes, you deserved a reason for them ending the relationship or situationship. This doesnโ€™t mean youโ€™ll get those answers from them, and the fact they are ghosting you means that they most likely will never let you know โ€œwhat happened.โ€ Thatโ€™s okay, though. You donโ€™t need their closure to move forward anyway.

6. Dwell on what might have happened.

The first few weeks after being ghosted are the hardest. This makes sense. Youโ€™re still getting used to someone who used to be a major part of your day no longer being part of your life. Let yourself feel what you need to but do not dwell on where โ€œthings went wrong.โ€ Because, in the end, it honestly doesnโ€™t matter. The fact is they ghosted you is really the biggest piece of information you need.