I Wish You Could See Yourself The Way I Saw You

You were abandoned when you were a child. And I get it, that would be traumatizing for anyone. It leads you to not care about anyone so it doesn’t affect you in the first place, and it leads to unfulfilling relationships because you’re too afraid to be attached and to be potentially defined by someone again.

You faced everything alone.

You’ve lost many people in your life. And I get it, that would pain me more than anything too. You’ve experienced tremendous amounts of heartbreak and mountains you shouldn’t have had to face at the mere age of a child. You were thrown into adult situations that forced you to grow up and mature before you were supposed to.

You faced everything alone.

But if you could just see, for a second, the way I saw you, maybe you’d change your mind for a second. Maybe you’d stop hating yourself, blaming past regrets and mistakes on yourself, shouldering the weight of problems that aren’t yours to carry. Maybe then you’d realize you’re the most beautiful person I have ever known.

I wish you saw how beautiful your brokenness was, your ease with vulnerability, and your strength in enduring hardships. I wish you cared less about others and prioritized yourself more, and maybe also could see that as a positive quality for caring so much about others and being so selfless all the damn time. I wish I could magically erase the pain you’ve been through all these years and heal those wounds for you, but I understand you’re not ready to reveal the skeletons in your closet—not yet.

So I’ll be waiting. I’ll be ready. For the day you’re ready to acknowledge the good qualities in you and when you’re ready to conquer your fears. Because even if it’s not me you’re happy with, all I want is for you to be happy.

Always.