6 Concrete Signs You’ve Outgrown Your Long-Term Partner

You struggle to find anything to talk about, and have stopped communicating much.

When you’ve been together for a long time, it might feel like you’ve run out of things to say to each other because you’ve already covered it all. However, your life should never feel too stagnant, so there should always be new things to share about what you’ve done or what you’ve discovered. If you feel like you have nothing left to say to your partner, it might have more to do with the fact that you’ve grown apart emotionally, that you don’t feel comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts with them anymore, that you aren’t as interested in their opinion or their approval as you used to be.

Your visions of the future have shifted further and further apart.

Although love is important, it’s not enough on its own. Even though you might adore your partner, you owe it to yourselves to separate if your future visions don’t align. You should feel similarly about children, about marriage, about where you want to live and how you want your lifestyles to look. If one of you is expected to make a massive sacrifice for the other, if only one of your dreams can come true, then it could create a breeding ground for resentment. It’s much better to go your separate ways so you can both live the lives of your dreams.

You never spend quality, one-on-one time together or go on dates.

Your partner should feel like more than your roommate. You should be making new memories together instead of constantly reliving the old ones. After all, you don’t want to stay together out of a sense of obligation or because you love who they used to be, how they used to make you feel. They should be bringing meaning to your life today as well. If it feels like your best times are in the past, you either need to have a serious conversation to fix this — or you need to break apart.

You feel like they’re holding you back in significant ways.

You feel like you aren’t ‘allowed’ to do certain things because your person disapproves. You feel like you would be living a completely different (and more fulfilling) life if you were on your own, without needing to compromise with them or cater to them. Overall, you feel like they’re holding you back from achieving your biggest dreams, from embarking on your wildest adventures.

You want different things in a relationship now that you’re older.

When you were younger, maybe passion was enough. Maybe what this person gave you was all that you expected. But as you’ve grown older and have learned and changed, you want a different level of commitment. Or a different type of romance. Whatever the case may be, you want different things from a relationship now, and your person isn’t able (or isn’t willing) to be those things for you.

You liked yourself better when you weren’t with them.

Your partner has turned you into someone you don’t recognize. Someone you aren’t proud of being. You feel like they bring out your worst. You feel like you’re a much happier, healthier version of yourself without them — which is a huge sign you need to part ways.