This Is The Concrete Difference Between Love And Limerence

While love and limerence may create similar feelings, these are two entirely different phenomenons.

First, let’s talk limerence. The term limerence was first coined in the 1970s by psychologist Dorothy Tennov. At its core, limerence is intense romantic infatuation marked by obsession, fantasy, and a deep and persistent yearning for someone else. Limerence ignores all of someone’s red flags in favor of wearing rose-colored glasses. Limerence is essentially the same thing as being “in love” with an idea.

Love, on the other hand, is based on a true and incredibly deep connection between two people. Love is seeing and accepting someone as they actually are. Love is supportive, empathetic, and respectful. Love helps bring stability, meaning, and clarity to one’s life.

According to Mind Body Green, both love and limerence can begin similarly due to a dopamine rush, which can make it difficult to differentiate the two, at least at first. However, the biggest sign you are in limerence, not love, is that love is grounding and sustainable while limerence only leaves you gasping for air, chasing an ephemeral high, and never feeling completely secure with the object of your desire.

Limerence is a roller coaster of emotions, full of euphoric highs and intense lows. And like a roller coaster, limerence will always come to a screeching halt. If you think you’re in limerence, it’s in your best interest to get off the ride as soon as possible so you can find something real instead.