4 Concrete Signs It’s Time To Stop Chasing Them
You’ve been chasing them for as long as you can remember.
There’s a phenomenon called the sunk cost fallacy. Basically, when you’ve already invested a lot of time and energy into something (or someone), it’s hard to walk away. You feel like you might as well keep going because you want to finish what you started. You don’t want to give up when you feel like you’re almost there, you almost have them. You’re willing to wait a little longer and a little longer because you’ve already invested so much into them. But continuing to chase after them could be hurting you. If you’ve been interested in them for months, or even years, and nothing has happened between the two of you, you might be better off saying goodbye. You might want to find someone who shows the same level of interest in you too.
They only put in ten percent of your effort.
You shouldn’t be the only person putting effort into the relationship. You shouldn’t feel like they’re going to forget about you if you stop sending the first text or initiating hangout sessions. They should be just as invested in the relationship as you are, or things are going to feel one-sided soon. Even if you are okay with going above and beyond for them right now, eventually it’s going to wear on you. You’re going to grow to resent them and get exhausted when you’re the one doing more. And chances are low their effort will change over time. Once they get used to you doing so much for them, they’ll expect the behavior to continue. The relationship will remain unbalanced – and that’s not what you deserve.
They’re busy chasing someone else.
Even though you might feel like they’re the perfect person for you, you can’t make them see what you see. You can’t control their feelings. You can’t force them into loving you. And, honestly, you shouldn’t have to go through all that trouble. You deserve someone who sees your value from the start, not someone that you have to go out of your way to impress. If they’re unable to see what a catch you are, then you should move on. You shouldn’t start treating everyone else like your competition and fighting for their attention. If they aren’t giving you what you need, then find someone who will.
Loving them has become a chore.
Relationships aren’t supposed to make you feel horrible about yourself. If this person is bringing out your worst insecurities and making you feel unattractive and unlovable, then it’s time to move on from them. You don’t want this person to determine the way you see yourself. You don’t want to experience a crushing blow every time they ignore your text or go out with someone new. If you’re still having fun chasing them, and enjoying how much you flirt, then it’s a different story. But if this person has been causing you more heartache than butterflies lately, maybe it’s time to say goodbye.