10 Uncomfortable (But Powerful) Concrete Signs That Prove You’re Evolving

Growth is inherently uncomfortable because you’re entering new spaces you’ve never ventured into before. But discomfort is not a bad thing. It is just a sign that things are changing.

Here are 10 uncomfortable but powerful signs that prove you’re evolving.

1. You’ve stopped talking so much shit.

Gossip used to be an easy way for you to make conversation but it no longer aligns with the person you’re becoming. In fact, you actually feel ashamed and embarrassed of the things you used to say about people in an attempt to bond with others. Now, you have bigger, more important things to talk about than the perceived shortcomings and faults of other people. You also realize that, more often than not, talking a bunch of shit about someone else says a lot more about you than it does them.

2. You’re finally facing what isn’t working in your life.

Rather than ignoring the things that aren’t serving you, you’re choosing to be honest with yourself instead. Whether it’s your job, your love life, your lifestyle, or your living situation, you are finally coming to terms with the fact that you are not where you want to be. And even though it totally sucks and is uncomfortable to face this truth, you have decided you no longer want to lie to yourself either. To you, this is a worse fate.

3. You’re outgrowing friendships at a rapid speed.

Nothing was wrong with the friendships necessarily. You’re just realizing you have less and less in common with some friends as you grow into more adult versions of yourselves. You’re spending far more time solo as a result, and it can get lonely, but you also feel more like yourself than you have in a long, long time.

4. You’re having more uncomfortable conversations.

You’re having more uncomfortable conversations, but only because you’re no longer afraid to have them. You now understand that in order to maintain healthy relationships, you need to be willing to talk about the hard stuff.

5. You’re beginning to put yourself first (even though it makes you feel guilty).

This isn’t to say you aren’t there for the people in your life, you are, but you no longer bending over backward and stretching yourself too thin in order to be a “good” friend, daughter, girlfriend, etc. because you realize the right people will understand. While you still feel guilty about putting yourself first as needed, it’s only because you’re not used to doing so. It will get easier with time.

6. You’ve stopped trusting as easily.

You now understand your story is earned, not a given. Trust is built, not guaranteed.

7. You’re questioning pretty much everything.

Your world literally feels upside down. You feel completely ungrounded. Your morals are changing, your worldview is shifting, and your perception about pretty much everything is no longer familiar. This is good. It shows you’re starting to think for yourself.

8. You’re noticing your negative self-talk more.

Your negative self-talk is becoming more and more difficult to tune out. This isn’t because it’s increasing. It’s because you’re finally becoming more aware of the ways you talk to yourself and how detrimental those words can be. Now, you’re attempting to reroute your self-talk into a more positive voice. It’s difficult, and it feels unnatural, but you know it is necessary to become a healthier version of yourself.

9. You’ve stopped numbing yourself to pain.

You’ve stopped coping in unhealthy ways in order to numb pain. Now, you let yourself feel whatever it is you do because you realize that this is the only way to move past what hurts. It’s the only way to heal.

10. You look back at former versions of yourself and cringe.

Your old Facebook memories make you roll your eyes. You think back to who you were in your teens, your early 20s, or even last year and begin to shame spiral thinking about who you have been. But this is a good thing because it proves you’ve grown and that you’re on the right path. Just know, younger versions of you deserve love, too. You wouldn’t be who you are today without them, after all.