7 Concrete Signs Your Relationship Is Emotionally Exhausting You
Here are seven concrete signs your relationship is emotionally exhausting you.
1. You’re consumed with your partner’s problems.
You’re worried about your partner all the time. You’re never not wondering how you can help them or fix a crappy situation they may find themselves in or make them happier. And despite how much you want to focus, and how you don’t want to think about them all the dang time, you can’t help it.
2. Your relationship is one-sided, especially in regards to emotional support.
Relationships can’t always be 50/50. At different points in life, your partner may need more emotional support than you do and vice versa. That said, the ratio should at least be close most of the time. And if your partner is constantly in the midst of some sort of problem, to the point where you can’t even speak up about anything you may be struggling with, this can quickly create an unbalanced relationship, one with you providing all the heavy lifting. It’s almost as if your needs don’t matter at all.
Speaking of…
3. Your needs are not treated as important as your partner’s needs.
Everything they’re going through is so much bigger, right? How could you ever ask them to support you when it feels as though what you need pales in comparison to their needs? Not to mention, they always make you feel guilty or like you’re “too much” when you ever do ask for a hand. Most of the time, you end up not saying anything at all and taking care of everything you need yourself.
4. You walk on eggshells in order to “keep the peace.”
Sure, you could tell your partner how depleted you’re feeling and how you need more from them, but at what cost? A massive fight? When you’re already completely drained? Maybe not…
If that sounds familiar, you’re definitely walking on eggshells. Basically, you feel as though you have to hold back your feelings and needs in order to keep things in your relationship “steady.”
5. You’re absolutely desperate for space.
A weekend when they have other plans feels like literal heaven. It’s like you can finally breathe again. But as soon as they come back, you feel stifled once more and can’t wait for your next separation. And, to be honest, they could have even left for two weeks and you wouldn’t bat an eye or miss them. It’s almost as if no space would ever be enough to truly recharge. You’re emotionally spent.
6. Your relationship is starting to impact your other relationships.
Your partner drains you so much that you have absolutely nothing left to give your other relationships, such as your friends or family. Even needing to text your best friend back feels like a chore. Everyone feels like they’re being too much even when you know they aren’t. You feel terrible because you love your friends and family but you’re just so tired and empty.
7. You don’t feel like yourself anymore.
You’ve changed since you’ve started dating, and not in a good way. You don’t recognize yourself anymore. You’re exhausted all the time and irritable and feel as though you’re white-knuckling your whole life. You miss your space. You miss your peace. But mostly? You miss who you used to be before you got together with your partner. This is a definitive sign your partner is emotionally exhausting you.
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If your partner is emotionally exhausting you, boundaries can help bring fulfillment and health back to your partnership. However, if you set boundaries and communicate that you need more and nothing changes? It might be time to rethink your relationship. Love should strengthen you, not bring you down.