You Know You’re Healing When Your Relationship With Solitude Changes

Solitude, for some people, is another word for loneliness, something to avoid because it means not being around people, not having enough social obligations to fill your entire week and give you a sense of false validation that you are not alone and that people like and seek your company. Being alone was something to despise and run away from because it meant that you were either lonely or unloved, but as you start healing and growing, solitude becomes necessary for your well-being. You begin to seek solo time and adventures because it rejuvenates your soul and gives you more time to recharge before you go out and deal with people.

Solitude doesn’t mean you hate people or don’t want to be around them. It just means that you’re no longer trying to seek validation and joy from others because you’re finding them within yourself. You’re no longer depending on people to do things or go places or give your life meaning. You’re okay with doing things on your own from time to time; you don’t mind traveling alone or going out to eat somewhere by yourself. You’re not waiting for a friend to join before you sign up for a class or attend a concert. You start to appreciate your alone time even more because you’re no longer trying to run away from yourself. You still know how to have fun and show up for your friends, but your life and your self-esteem do not depend on it anymore. They start becoming things that complement your life, not complete it.

In the past, being alone was a dreadful experience, but when you start loving and honoring yourself, it becomes something to look forward to. You’re no longer stuck with negative thoughts or toxic feelings. You’re no longer beating yourself up or feeling sorry for yourself. You’re no longer trying to fill the void with people so you can distract yourself from your own wounds. You now pick your company wisely, you don’t jump in with both feet at the first invitation or the first call to hang out. You’re no longer seeking comfort from the wrong people or hanging out with people who don’t match your current vibe and energy.

The truth is, as you heal, you stop being afraid of solitude or the void or even loneliness. You stop fearing the consequences that this alone time may bring because now you’re learning how to enjoy it. Now alone time means watching your favorite shows, running the errands you’ve put off for so long, getting a massage, reading your favorite book, or just sitting with yourself in silence. You’re no longer afraid of people calling you a loner or antisocial or sad because these labels don’t trigger you anymore. They used to trigger you when they were true, when your alone time meant something was wrong with you, but that’s not how you see it now.

Now you don’t care about what people may think and say, you’re happy with your healing journey and you appreciate your alone time even more because, for the first time, it’s giving you confidence. You’re not filling your time with unnecessary activities or people who drain you. You’re looking after yourself and making up for all the lost time and all the times you neglected yourself and ran away from getting to know who you are and what you love. You’re putting all that energy back into yourself and it’s going to pay off in the most rewarding and meaningful ways.