Helena Lopes

You Deserve Someone Who Loves You Back Even More

Letting love in is a skill no one teaches you at school or even in adulthood. You read about it all the time but you donโ€™t know why itโ€™s so hard to do in practice. Even when you think youโ€™re doing it, somethingโ€™s still not quite right and you end up hurting.

Or perhaps you never truly believe in it.

โ€œLove someone who loves you even more,โ€ they say. But does that person really exist? What is that love really like? You wonder. How can you imagine such a thing when all you know is being mistreated and abandoned? Even when your own parents donโ€™t seem to care about you?

And thatโ€™s the problem. But thatโ€™s also your key to a different reality.

If you want love to manifest in your life, you have to believe in it and actively recognize itโ€”even the platonic, non-familial kind. You have to act like someone whoโ€™s loved on a daily basis. You have to know for sure what love is and what love is not. You have to stop tolerating pain.

You donโ€™t deserve pain. You deserve love. Lots of it.

Love is your birthright.

โ€œLove someone who loves you back even more.โ€ I like the way itโ€™s worded.

Love is an action; itโ€™s a choice. You can choose who you love, and you can say no to those who you donโ€™t want.

If youโ€™re lucky, it wonโ€™t take you too long till you meet someone who sees you as the star you are and chooses to love you every day. Someone who makes love feel easy like itโ€™s already yours. Someone whom you love both by choice and by nature.

Itโ€™s worth fighting for.

Loving someone who loves you back even more is rewarding, to say the least.

You donโ€™t have to worry about being taken for granted or that your acts of care and service wonโ€™t be appreciated and reciprocated. Youโ€™re free to give as much as you want because you know youโ€™ll get back even more one way or another. Your effort isnโ€™t wasted away; it contributes to the foundation of your life together.

Loving someone who loves you back even more is daily happiness. Stress is replaced by laughter and comfort as they go out of their way to help take the burden off your shoulder and let you know youโ€™re safe and treasured. Over time, theyโ€™ll get even better at loving you and youโ€™ll realise that your relationship is the best investment youโ€™ve ever made.

A person who loves you back even more is a person who loves you for who you are.

This person exists and you deserve them.

Finding someone who loves you back even more requires taking a good look in your mirror.

Can you give yourself the same kind of love? Do you navigate towards people who are loving to you?

Do you draw firm boundaries with people who make you feel not good enough? Do you actively avoid hurting situations? Do you do whatโ€™s best for you?

Do you give people a chance to treat you well?

Do you give yourself a chance to trust again?

Letting love in is a skill you can learn.

Donโ€™t label yourself as someone who never knows love; adopt a new identity as someone who already has it all and will have even more.

Show yourself you really mean it.

Next time, when someone does something nice for you, donโ€™t say โ€œyou donโ€™t have toโ€ or โ€œItโ€™s okay, I can get it.โ€ Just let them and then thank them. Do something nice back for them later. Donโ€™t be afraid to ask for favors either; trust that people love doing nice things for you because 1) you deserve it and 2) they know youโ€™ll appreciate it and you have their back too.

Thatโ€™s how you build a reciprocal relationship.

But letting love in doesnโ€™t mean you have to be with anyone who claims to love you.

Loving you is simply non-negotiable.

You can still have your standards and pick the one you want. Trust your judgment.

You deserve someone who loves you back even more.

Once you find this person, do the same for them. The abundance of love will keep flowing.