Sigit Rizal Hidayat

A Mathematical Reflection On The New Year

This reflection is on the cusp of the preceding year that we are in now. What a year it has been. I cannot help but recall more ups than downs; the impact of the fluctuation greatly impeded both derivatives. In a way, they both balanced out each other. In order to see a gain, I needed a loss, and vice versa. It was not one of the most glamorous experiences, to say the least, but those not-so-great experiences allowed me to view the positive spectrum ahead. However, this is not to say that I am a superhuman whose ability can completely disregard ventures that have inundated my mind, body, and soul. A positive perspective is all I have in my possession to get me through the day. It’s what keeps me afloat from the sharks that encircle my vessel – a tool which at times intakes hydrogen dioxide due to turbulence and rough currents. As storms pass me by, it gives me strength, not only from the storm, but to also appreciate the sun at its best, because everything shall pass in its own time.

So, 2021, I am not here to judge, but I will also not ignore the fact of my feelings being prevalent to my being. The feelings revealed beautiful and ugly; good and bad; smooth and rough – and any other description on a dichotomy level that brings homeostasis to our level of becoming. As we are becoming, we are being. Our stages of being allows us to mindfully reflect on our behaviors and snake our way into the curves of our mold – in essence, it shapes our lives; we are our own masons to the sculptures we build. Shall we think of this as a selfie with a selfie stick? I suppose not. Allow me to synthesize — as we divinely build our lives in momentary steps, it accumulates into an unsolved algebraic equation. What’s being done on one side of our lives will also be done equally on the opposite side in order to receive that byproduct whenever X or Y is coherently solved. 

The quadratic plain of our lives is indeed a tricky one; the origin is neutral and stable, while on the same token there’s an assortment of line graphs that depict our trajectory, whether parabolic or linear. Nonetheless, those lines project upward, given the time and effort to solve for one’s personal equation. 

If you’re reading this and are having a headache because of the mathematical terms mentioned, I’m sorry but I’m also not sorry; I give you my homeostasis of acceptance. You feel how you feel — and I respect that. 

Whilst we respectfully reflect on ourselves, we realize there are many similarities with our estranged neighbors than we could possibly imagine. As cliché as it is to say, its comprehension level never seems to waver because it’s a commonality that cannot be ignored: love. To know thyself is to love thyself. In order to give compassion and love to others, loving ourselves — our perfect imperfection — is our common key to greatness; wherever and whatever that may feel to our personal selves. 

I love and appreciate how opposite energies attract, don’t you? It’s a wonderful feeling to see sunshine in the dark abyss that clouds our third-person perception.