Polina Tankilevitch

An Open Letter To First Time Moms

You’re probably wondering how to start your journey now that the little thing growing inside you has entered the world. The moments where you only experienced little flutters and the occasional kicks are long gone and the culprit for those unforgettable pregnancy memories now has a face. 

But let me tell you this: motherhood is difficult. It’s isolating, exhausting, it will make you run out of patience, and at times it’s depressing and lonely, but despite all these negative feelings, it is undeniably rewarding. When you see that smile on your child’s face and when they stop crying with the slightest comfort you offer, the littlest moments with them leave a mark on their brain and you can see it in them while they are growing up. 

No one ever tells you these things because nobody is ever ready to face these challenges, but those who have experienced it have also long forgotten about how it felt because of the joy the little one brings them. 

With this bundle of joy comes a lot of changes and challenges, but as mothers, there’s no challenge that you cannot overcome. Here are some of the things I learned when I had my first child: 

You need to feel okay with being left out when your single friends gather. Becoming a mother will isolate you from most of your friends—this is especially true for young mothers. However, there will always be people who have your back; there will always be someone who will opt to go through this journey with you, and those kinds of people are the ones you keep. 

You will not have enough rest, your child will exhaust you to the limit, but you need to keep yourself together because this little person depends on you. This precious little one in your arms loves you with their tiny heart, and you will also love them unconditionally despite being tired all the time because of them.

With all the stress from not knowing what is wrong with them and the exhaustion that comes with it, your patience will be tested. It will run out a lot, but all you can do is still be patient despite not having it in you anymore. 

It’s okay to feel sad, depressed, and alone. The journey is tough—postpartum is real and the best way to help yourself overcome it is to acknowledge its existence and ask for help if it’s no longer bearable. You need to take care of yourself too and not just your little one, mama! 

Motherhood is a long and tiring journey; I honestly believe being a mother does not stop even when your children have already grown up and have their own lives already. Being a mother is something that takes a lot of courage and strength. It’s a job that does not reward you with money, but instead it teaches you patience and compassion, and it proves to you that you are capable of caring and loving someone unconditionally.