At the end of heartbreak comes change. Maybe if I met that person 20 years ago, or if I didn’t have that argument or send that text, things would be different. It may have changed something, but it will never change the outcome. You can’t wish you did something different — you did what you did because that’s who you were!
We all make decisions based on history, culture, insecurities, strengths, and how we grew up. You can’t go back and change a decision you made because that would be changing you as a person. You are not the same person you were 20 years ago.
Having gone through experiences has given you input to make necessary changes in how you want your life to go based on the events from the past.
What happened happened.
We are evolving as people because of mistakes, choices we made, and a willingness to learn from them. It takes time to develop confidence and self-love.
There are many times in life when we may know logically what we are doing is wrong, and if we do this, we will lose them, but we do it anyway. Until we have finally had enough, or until we mentally and physically get to the decision that we can not do things the same way, we will not change.
Change comes from heartbreak.
We don’t truly wake up until we get to the end of our rope from doing things that cause us to hurt.
We tend to believe that if we do something, achieve something, or get into a relationship with an individual, that will make us happy.
Does it? Usually not. Temporarily it does, but then we are back on the search for that feeling of peace and happiness.
The worst feeling in the world is when we torture ourselves for things we could have done. You needed to go through the evolution of those decisions to be the person you are now! Your younger self did what they needed to do in that period. You may have received pain from that past decision but look at it as a treasure to bring you self-love and acceptance.
You did the best you could!
Maybe there were red flags all along and you are beating yourself up for the wasted time. Every step of the way, you did the best you could on the available resources. You will never know why you did things the way you did – stop torturing yourself, you weren’t ready!
Start to show yourself compassion. Be grateful that you can benefit from past circumstances.
Don’t worry about the then!
How do you stop repeating past cycles? Be open to information, training, books, meeting new people – be vulnerable because life is not easy.
Life does not always feel amazing.
A lot about life is making us feel okay. Making us feel less lonely. We are looking for that soulmate — we have romantic energy, and we have so much love to give, and we have no one to direct that love towards. This contributes to loneliness. We may feel like we’ve wasted time for years alone rather than contributing to a relationship. Talk about it, open up to friends, and share your struggles to feel supported.
We spend so much time thinking about ways that we are inadequate. This breaks my heart.
You are unbelievably great!
Put your life in perspective. When you see someone with struggles 10 times worse than you, it is a moment of clarity. You can do this! Change from the heart, not just the mind. Someone else will look from the outside and think that you have it made.
Stop engaging with your suffering. Fall in love with your situation, and this will change your reality.
Believe from the tips of your toes that all of the negative experiences and heartbreak you have gone through were necessary to transform you into the person you are now. You don’t need them to make you happy. You choose them, and that is a huge difference.
There will always be second, third, and a million chances in life to achieve the life you want and deserve by understanding your evolution. Do not hold yourself prisoner to a failed marriage or relationship in the past.
You are not even remotely the same person you were then. It’s over!
Grow from this pain and let it go.
Change comes from the other side of heartbreak.