Before You Choose The ‘Most Secure’ Choice, Read This
“Because it’s secure.”
More than half of the time, that’s the response you’ll get about why you should pick that thing. The job. The partner. The house. The degree. Everything comes down to security, along with many other reasons as to why this thing can benefit you. Within that laundry list of reasons, how often does it include your happiness or a feeling that it’s just right for you?
Over the last couple of years, I’ve come to learn that what I say no to is far more important than what I say yes to. While being open minded and willing to stretch yourself in life is important, saying no to the things you don’t want sends an order out to the universe of what you won’t to settle for.
A question I often get from friends, and one I personally have even asked myself, is: What if that thing never comes? Or why can’t I just be happy with what I have now? I think that’s when it boils down to trust. Not trusting in a false sense of security, but trusting your innate knowing that the right opportunities and people are going to meet you at the right time and for the right reasons.
Lately, I’ve been trying to practice trusting myself more and saying no to things even if I don’t have a logical list of reasons. It’s not because I don’t appreciate what I have or that I haven’t fully lived that experience but because I know something is better in store.
To some, it may sound crazy to leave something that’s right in front of me that I “know I have.”
To me, it sounds even crazier to put my trust in something outside of myself. It’s crazier to think that human logic (which is oftentimes flawed) and societal norms hold more value than my own intuition.
I think the frustration comes when we’re not getting the answers right away. Or there isn’t a solid reason as to why x thing didn’t work out. You may not find out right away—or ever. Despite this, I’ve come to find that it’s far more important to take a chance on what does feel right, than choosing to stay with something that doesn’t. And if the outcome changes? That’s ok too.
Instead of making your reason for choosing something be “because it’s secure,” flip the script to say “because I’m secure.”
Some examples of this could be:
I’m choosing to be with this person because I’m secure. I’m secure in my own self love and self worth, that I’m choosing to be with someone that meets me where I’m at and not based on a made up checklist.
I’m choosing to take this job because I’m secure. I’m secure in knowing what I value and what I bring to the table, and I’m confident that I’m choosing a workplace that acknowledges that.
Regardless of how this may look in your life, it all comes down to knowing you’re secure enough in yourself to make a choice about what’s right for you.