You don’t want to waste time on someone who doesn’t see you as a priority. You don’t want to do everything in your power to make them happy if they aren’t willing to put the same effort into loving you. Here are a few signs that you’re a backup plan, not a priority, and that you deserve so much better than them:
They act distant whenever they’re with you. Maybe they aren’t focused on another person, but they’re focused on their emails. Their texts. Their own thoughts and daydreams. Remember, physically showing up is the least they can do. They should be there emotionally as well. They shouldn’t feel a million miles away. They shouldn’t give you the idea that they would rather be anywhere else than by your side. The right person will be one hundred percent present when they’re with you because they won’t want to miss out on an instant.
They only invite you to hang out at the last second. The only time they want to see you is when all of their other options are exhausted. When they realize that their other friends and potential partners are busy, and you’re the only one left who hasn’t turned them down yet. Remember, the right person will set aside time for you even when it’s inconvenient. They will set plans with you days, or weeks, in advance if it’s the only way to fit them into your schedule. But someone who sees you as a backup plan will only contact you at the last possible second.
They are inconsistent with their communication. If they wanted to be with you, then they would check in to see how you’re doing frequently. They would make it known that they care about you. But if they only pop up every once in a while to smother you with compliments, then drop off the face of the planet completely, you can’t trust that you’re a priority. If you were a priority, then they wouldn’t go MIA. They wouldn’t leave you wondering what happened to them and whether they still feel the same since the last time you’ve talked.
They put more effort into others than they put into you. If they’re always on their phones texting people they care about when they’re out with you, but they never seem to return your texts, then they clearly aren’t as invested in you as they are with whoever is on the opposite side of that phone. They clearly aren’t giving you the level of attention that they’re giving other people in their life. And if they aren’t going to give you their whole heart, you shouldn’t give them yours either.
They’re always flirting with other people in front of you. If they wanted to be with you and only you, then they would make you feel special. They would make you feel valued. Flirting with other people, and making sure that they have other options, means that they aren’t one hundred percent in on the idea of dating you. It means they aren’t going to give you the loyalty and dedication that you deserve.